How I Failed Spectacularly
I failed and I failed spectacularly, and you know what? I don’t care.
And I don’t care because I tried my best and short of abandoning coaching and work that pays my mortgage and feeds my family I’m not sure what else I could have done.
I’m relaxed in the knowledge there is/was something if only I’d had a flash of insight, but sometimes insight doesn’t arrive and we have to be ok with that.
The main thing is we tried.
I contacted a lot of people, I sent out probably hundreds of e-mails and I even got in my car and went and knocked on doors in the Orlando area.
About 4 years ago myself and John Strelecky my co-author turned down the opportunity to have our book ‘How To Be Rich and Happy’ formally published in the US.
We Were Apparently, Nuts
Out agent thought we were nuts.
Then when we got an offer to publish the book through the second biggest publisher in the UK and we turned that down too (and the advance of several thousand dollars) she thought we were even more nuts than before.
According to her, we were the first authors in her twenty year career that had ever turned down the opportunity to have their book published overseas.
But we were concerned an English language version could then be sold back into the United States and we didn’t want that to happen.
Yes we sold into China, Taiwan, Germany, France and the Netherlands but to achieve what we initially wanted to achieve meant that an English version was out of the question.
We decided to sell the book on our website and use all the profits to print more copies to give away to good causes.
It’s easy to think if you are into self development that most other people are too, but that is a long, long way from the truth.
I have no official stats, but my guess is that 90% of this country has never bought a book on the topic.
There can be any number of reasons from not having enough money, to not believing change is possible – so why even try (it is by the way, neuroscience has beaten that erroneous belief into oblivion), to just being unaware that this huge industry even exists – and no, I’m not joking about that.
We had a cool idea. Or at least we thought so at the time.
Our Big, Hairy Audacious Goal
We decided we wanted to give away 1,000,000 copies of the book.
We really didn’t care who they went to as long as the people were being exposed to new information.
We approached charities, churches, organizations such as the Rotary Club and even the military (we actually got to ship a few cases to troops stationed in Afghanistan one Christmas).
We offered to give free talks, be interviewed, write guest posts and even in some cases hand deliver the books.
On one occasion we prepared a speech to give to several hundred charity workers and were due to give it the following day as well as delivering 500 copies of the book.
I do little public speaking, but John does a lot and charges $10k for a keynote talk, so this was a demonstration of our commitment.
The day before the talk I got a phone call from a rather sheepish and embarrassed Director of Operations. Our invite had been rescinded?
And the reason was, the most senior member of the Board of Directors had used his power of veto to do so.
Why?
Because he didn’t like the title of the book.
He hadn’t actually read the book and even though our advocate had explained it wasn’t about being rich financially, and most definitely wasn’t a get rich quick book, it was to no avail.
Being Wealthy Is Not The Same As Feeling Rich
The fact is, the book is about doing work that makes you feel rich in spirit.
If you read my last post ‘Are Two Bricks Causing You Misery?’ you will know I am not financially rich, in fact, far from it.
But I am incredibly lucky to do a job I love, to set my own calendar and be in a position to help people.
I’m not (nor will I ever be) a so-called super coach who charges $50k and upwards to get out of bed and see a client.
There are a group of coaches that have convinced themselves that it’s ok to pressure clients into putting themselves into serious debt to work with them.
The reality is, as coaches we can never guarantee our results and the thought of fucking up somebody financially for the next 20 years doesn’t sit well with me.
The title of the book definitely didn’t help us until we got the opportunity to explain that it was designed to appeal to the get rich quick brigade and then show them there are other ways to be happy other than chasing the mighty dollar.
Sadly, most charities didn’t allow us to get that far.
The Book Is The Wrong Color!
One charity in particular who I will not name but think Tour De France, told us it didn’t fit with their branding because of the color of the cover.
What is the world coming to when a charity is more concerned about its brand than helping people?
I guess I’m just naive.
It’s quite soul crushing to ring up a job club and offer to ship a book to every member to help them get on their feet and be told, ‘thanks, but no thanks’.
I was often left shaking my head in disbelief. What did they have to lose?
On the flip side we had some great supporters and for the most part they were Churches. That wasn’t something I expected if I am being honest – but maybe that just exposed my own ignorance.
A lot of people told us at the beginning we couldn’t do it and we ignored them.
It may look like that we were foolish to have done so and we should have just published the book and taken the money, but I don’t see it like that.
We didn’t get remotely close to the 1,000,000 mark, but in the final analysis we did give away over $300,000 worth of books, and that makes me happy.
Failure Is Subjective
If we’d set a goal of giving away 10,000 copies of the book we would have nailed it and I wouldn’t be talking about failure, but a job well done.
But it is still a job well done and the e-mails I received from people thanking me testify to that.
I shall be closing down the bank account this week and the site will be gone soon along with the Facebook page, but I’m proud we gave it a shot.
I don’t wish we’d listened to the naysayers or never tried just because we were afraid of failing.
For the most part failing isn’t the problem (unless you plan to be the first person to jump out of a plane at 18,000 feet sans parachute) , it’s how you view that failure and what you learn from it that really matters.
As the quote goes that is sometimes erroneously attributed to Michael Jordan, but goes back much further than that.


Your simple mistake is in giving it away. Yes I’m sure you are doing it for all the right altruistic reasons and ones which make your soul sing or whatever you tell yourself you are doing but it is a very simple fact that people are generally suspicious of freebies.
If you had used the model of giving it away for free but with a small cost to cover the post and packing you could have had a best seller then all the people who gave you knock backs and excuses as to why they couldn’t see you or listen to you would have instead been knocking on your door
Wonderful articles in this post it’s very beneficial for me. Thanks to share this post.
Love the post. Love your writing style! If I was in the US I would have loved a free book!
I absolutely love your attitude. Fear of failure is so crippling for some people that they never venture out and try something new. Thanks for your amazing post.
I have just discovered your blog and I’m enjoying reading through your material. This particular piece is interesting.
On another note…I’m not convinced the book is done. Enough copies are out in the world for the right hands to pick it up if you stay open to it.
Yeh you’re right Abby, it could take off again and I am open to that possibility, just not banking on it.
I’m glad you are enjoying the blog.
Very nice
loved it.
I always wonder what we measure failure against, because i believe a failure is more worth than that person who didn’t try at all
Wise words!
I’m confused: the book is going away? Or just the efforts to give copies to groups like churches and the military? Or you’re taking your agent’s advice and switching to a mass-market publisher?
No we’re not going to publish it. In fact our agent actually retired this year so we don’t even have one.
It’s just that we lost money the last two years paying for hosting, accountants fees etc so we are closing it down as a business. The book will still be available on Amazon and John’s site until we sell the last 500 or so and then we’l not republish.
Failure really is subjective. This message needs to be shared. I love the story!
You’re right it is Tabby and if I’m being honest I don’t see it as failure in so much as we got to help several thousand people that we wouldn’t have had under normal circumstances.
I don’t really understand why would any one say no thanks to Book….
They’re just suspicious Hanine that we have some ulterior motive.
It is sad how society has learned to be so suspicious of so many things. In my Life Coach training in New Zealand, we were all tasked with an exercise where we went to the local shopping mall and asked passers by for money. That was challenging enough. Following that, we returned and attempted to give away money. Guess which was the most challenging?!
I adore your book Tim, it really resonates with me. Many years ago, as a struggling single parent working full time as a midwife and just about keeping the wolf from the door, I recall telling someone how rich I felt. Not in monetary terms (though in actuality I was wealthy in comparison with many), but in terms of having family, friends and health. I feel even richer now I have an abundance of freedom and flexibility in the way I live on a narrowboat on the canals and rivers of UK with my 3rd time lucky kiwi husband.
I give your pdf book away to clients sometimes, and will continue to do so (is that okay?!) because I feel the more people who understand and embrace its messages the better the world will be.
Arohanui
Sandra
LMAO – No, it’s not really ok Sandra! It isn’t just my decision because John owns copyright too.
If the people are broke, then I personally am ok, but it was never the purpose to give it away willy nilly but to target groups of people who were under financial or emotional stress.
I can ask John, but I wouldn’t bank on the answer.
Oh whoops! Sorry Tim, slapping my wrist now and apologising profusely …
No worries
Very nice article
Thanks for sharing
Hello! I am Chris, and I have been willing to help the people of Caiman. I’ve read about their stories and in my simple ways, I hope I can help them. For more details about this cause, check Caiman Haiti Foundation at this website http://www.caimanhaitifoundation.org
Years ago, I used to offer free teaching and workshops for NPOs and business groups. At the time, I ran a photo lab and retail store, so most of what I was teaching wouldn’t draw me any meaningful business.
I could show people rave reviews, great endorsements, and incredible results. But — amazingly — I was very often turned down. It made me sad, and I pretty much quit doing it.
The world is full of people who know better.
Yeh it’s weird Dick, I’m not quite sure what to make of it.