Why I Called The Suicide Prevention Hotline
Last week after a lot of thought I called the suicide prevention hotline.
I wasn’t about to self harm or kill myself, I just needed to start practicing what I preach.
As you may have guessed, I’m a very social and extroverted guy.
Other than maybe the money, the one thing I truly loved about sales was the team element, the camaraderie and the socializing.
Since moving to the US I have badly missed that and without Social Media I would have quit Life Coaching many years ago.
Social Media Has Kept Me Sane
Social Media has kept me sane on many occasions when the isolation was too much to bare.
I have been going through a difficult time recently.
Actually that’s not entirely true, things have been going great for me on a business front, but my wife has been suffering and her suffering has left me feeling helpless and a bit lonely.
I’ve been aware that I have slipped into feeling sorry for myself and dealing with it by eating and drinking too much and dwelling on shit that is out of my control, such as the health of my mother-in-law.
When I get into this state – and let’s be honest here, I’m talking about mild depression with some night time anxiety thrown in for good measure – my response is to withdraw and over think things.
My meditation practice goes south at exactly the time I need it the most and even my exercising drops off.
The nett result is I have put on 10lbs since this all started.
Not good for a man who’s weight has been static for 35 years.
Feeling Like A Fraud
Again let me be honest – I feel a bit like a fraud. I’m a Life Coach for fucks sake.
Fortunately, my own coach has stopped me sliding any further down the rabbit hole of feeling even more helpless in my ability to help my wife.
She works a hard job and spends most of her spare time working toward her doctorate as she worries about her mum’s serious illness and being so far away in her at her time of need.
Thank God for FaceTime and Skype.
I have to accept I cannot help her mum, I can only be around to support Helen and make life as easy for her as possible.
I know that helping people can have a massive beneficial effect which is why I called the suicide prevention hotline and will also call ‘The Samaritans‘ and ‘7 Cups of Tea‘ to find my best fit.
I do some free mentoring with other coaches and I love it. But and to me and it’s a fairly big but, it’s not quite the same as feeling like you may have saved somebodies life.
The Mastermind Group
One of the reasons I have set up the mastermind group* for next year is because I want to be part of a team again.
It’s been great having Karl Staib join me with Coach The Life Coach and even better finally meeting him in person last week, but for 2016 I want more.
I want to give more back and I want everyday to be filled with meaning. The tragic recent events have made me realize even more that putting off important shit, such as helping others is a road to regret.
Sorry if this has all been a bit self indulgent, but I wanted to share with it with you.
I’m a damn good Life Coach, but it doesn’t mean I have everything in life nailed on, because I don’t.
I’m moving in the right direction though and I’m more determined than you can possibly know to nail it next year and build a team of people through the Mastermind group who are unstoppable.
*It’s now almost certainly sold out as I have had way more people apply than there are places, but I may run a second. If you’re interested contact me within the next week.
Tim, thanks for this post. I hope things are better for you and your wife. Importantly, this post was good for all coaches to appreciate the value in being real. Life isn’t perfect and we experience much of what our clients do. Again, thanks!
Thanks Ginny and things have definitely stabilized.
Thanks Tim! – B
You’re welcome
Damn, you’ve just made me realize that it just might be social media (and other social sites) that are the only thing keeping me sane as well. Due to my current circumstances I’ve been pretty much completely isolated lately, so I wonder how I’d be holding up if I didn’t have the sort of faux social interaction offered by these sites to placate me.
I hope to hear you’re doing better soon!
I’m doing great now Mercury, thanks!
Really helpful for you to share so that we can know that we are not alone with these feelings. Useful ideas and thinking in post and comments –
leading to ask ourselves, How can we help to make this, more bearable/better/easier/different? Thanks Tim.
Cathy
I like the ‘different’ element of that because it promotes curiosity which is always useful.
Wow, Tim, thank you for this very candid post.
I really feel for you. On so many levels. From the feeling of isolation in a new country to supporting a distressed spouse. Hugs to you.
My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw your headline title, but not for the reason you’d suspect: THIS VERY MORNING I have been polishing up a guest post about my time volunteering at a suicide-prevention hotline.
One of my post’s central points is that nearly anyone can feel low enough to end up calling (or wanting to call) a hotline – in fact, most of the people I spoke with as a volunteer were not actively suicidal nor dealing with unheard of, horrific life circumstances.
Another central point I am trying to make is that most callers simply feel unseen and unacknowledged. Even if they have lots of friends and family. In a world where everyone is busy and pre-occupied with their own shit, it’s very easy to feel alone. Way too easy.
I’m with you – I want to give back and have my days filled with meaning. I really look forward to your mastermind group.
~Katharine
P.S. Reading your posts brings a lot to my life. I hope knowing that makes you feel a little bit of meaning :)
Glad they help, so thanks!
And every one of us goes through suffering. It’s not that shit happens that’s the real problem because it’s inevitable, it’s how we deal with it.
Good on you for posting this Tim. I’m sorry to hear things have been so tough recently, especially for Helen and her mom, but what a wonderful way of transforming lead into gold. Alchemy at it’s best. Now go and meditate!
Ha! Yes I did meditate, thanks :)
Tom,
I am really grateful for this post. I also feel the same a lot of times. This post gave me courage to accept what I have and don’t obstruct the flow. You are the best! Thanks again.
Appreciate it Priya and glad it helped!