The Cure To An Average Life
Today I am honored to have a guest post by one of the UK’s most sought after trainers and motivational speakers, Michael Heppell. Michael is the author of ‘How To Be Brilliant’, ‘Brilliant Life’ and ‘Five Star Service, One Star Budget’ amongst others.
I first became aware of him when I got hold of a copy of the live version of ‘How To Be Brilliant’ and it completely blew me away. Funny, insightful and highly entertaining, I’d encourage you to check it out.
His new book ‘Brilliant Life’ is a fantastic starting point for anybody new to self development and a good reference guide for the rest of us (also now available through Amazon in the US). I hope you’ll take the time to check out his site and if you live in the UK try and get to see him speak in person, he’s exceptional.
The Cure To An Average Life
Just the other day I was described as, ‘the cure to an average life’. It’s one of those moments when you find yourself wondering is this a compliment or not! I decided it was.
I asked the person why they used that description and quickly found that he was actually mistaken. I wasn’t the cure, I was the ‘physician’ who simply diagnosed that with the amazing talents and creativity he had (and I believe we all have) he was living his life at just above regular.
My job as a PD ‘physician’ was to get him to recognise that and instead of being angry about the present to excuse him about the future he could create.
When I asked him what it was specifically that made the difference, this is what he said.
“It was when you suggested a different way to look at a work / life balance that I understood it was me and me alone who makes a difference. When I got home I talked to my wife and told her your ideas on a work / life balance. She stopped dead in her tracks and proclaimed, ‘That’s it, that’s what’s missing in your life’. She begged me to use the ideas you shared, I did, and that’s what made the difference.”
I asked him once again who had really made the difference, and he agreed it was him and not me – I simply gave him the tools. He then went on to suggest I write my next book on this one subject! Rather than do that I thought I would share the simple concept with you here.
Have you noticed when people talk about a work / life balance (WLB) they really mean a pain / pleasure balance? In other words they associate pain, with work (or the commute to work, or their boss, etc) and pleasure to the time spent away from work. They then tell themselves that a WLB is getting enough ‘good stuff’ outside of work to tip the balance high enough to get through their working day!!
So here’s your choice:
1) Change your experience of your work.
2) Change your occupation or company. If you don’t love what you do, leave your work and find another job.
3) Keep the battle going. You can make the constant struggle between work and life outside of work a stress filled battle, until it eventually kills you!
I won’t spend any time on 2 and 3 as they are self-explanatory. So here are 7 simple tips to start to make your work a blast.
1) Choose your attitude. Taken from the wonderful book ‘Fish’ this simple statement says it all. Get this one right and you don’t need 2 – 7!
2) Put some pace in your day. By literally moving faster you will not only experience a faster day, you’ll get more done and be more likely to leave on time.
3) Create a reward system for yourself. Don’t wait until your company creates a system of recognition. By creating a reward system for you, you will not only win all the time, but you’ll also win prizes you want!
4) Step up! By taking on more responsibility you will feel better about the work you do and who knows it could equal a promotion.
5) Stop working for money. In Robert Kiyosaki’s book ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’ he states that the rich don’t work for money. Neither do happy workers. Work for the customer, work for satisfaction, work for you. The money will then be a bi-product of your efforts.
6) Get some training. Well I would say that wouldn’t I? However, I guarantee that people who are trained in their jobs and have personal development skills to cope are happier. Every time.
7) Add some color. Your brain loves humor and color. Take a look at the environment around you. Is it colorful and bright? If not, what can you do about it now, and in the medium term.
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Note: I do not make any money from the links in this post.
@ Jenny – That’s a cool way to look at it and when rewards will work really well.
@ Tom – It’s funny, I had never heard of work/life balance until I joined a company where I had to work 70+ hours per week to keep my head above water. They were obsessive about it, probably because nobody had any! It’s easy to talk the talk and say “Look how wonderful we are, we’re promoting work/life balance”
Tim I have noticed the pain/reward thinking. I’ve also noticed that when people go in search of balance they are trying to balance too many damn things that they feel obligated to do.
Gotta love those aha client moments. Great coaching!
Hi Tim & Jennifer, I a BIG believer in the reward system and will use things like “a dance party with my kids”, “a walk with a friend or by myself” “1/2 hour reading something fun” “1 hour playing video games with my kids” and other non-monetary things as rewards…. Things that I put off doing sometimes because of my “to dos”…. suddenly when it’s a reward it is that much more sweeter, appreciated, focused and enjoyed….. Thanks! Jenny
@ Marc – You know that because YOU have a positive attitude and know the impact it can have. If only we could pass on that attitude to everybody on the planet for just one day, I wonder what a difference it would make. Surely there would be no going back.
@ Jennifer – The reward system is cool and often overlooked by a lot of people, me included. Let us know how you get on. One thing I would say about it is, be creative. There’s a 1,001 ways we can reward ourselves and too many people got for the obvious like money, clothes etc. There’s lots of other stuff out there too.
Great post Michael.
That was an interesting thought about the WLB that I never thought of before. It is so crucial to find something we enjoy – that will help us have that proper balance. If we’re doing something we hate then everything – all aspects of our lives – will suffer. It only makes sense.
Number one tip truly is the most important, but alas it seems to be the most difficult for some reason. It’s much easier to sit around and complain and do nothing about our misery, but oh the rewards when we make the right choices – and the most important one being our attitude!
I really like the reward system you mentioned. I might just have to try that.
You are spot on with your points about creating your own attitude. Attitude is a choice… and it governs much of our lives. ;-)
Thanks for the insight.
@ Jenny – That’s a brilliant Dyer quote, I love it and I’m sure you’ll get a lot from the site, he is definitely all about attitude.
@ Dr KC – Thanks for the comment and I agree 100% with everything you have to say.
Being described as the “cure to an average life” is more than a compliment! You’re helping average lives change to be something more than just average. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with average, but it’s just the same as saying, “What does average mean to you? What does success mean to you?” You do in fact, give people the tools to become whatever it is they want to be. You can’t do it for them, but you do set them on the right paths to doing it for themselves. Bravo to you!
Thank you for sharing the choices that we all have and the steps to making work (or perhaps something else in life that we don’t love) tolerable. Number one is of course the most important, but since it’s not all that easy to do…you do give us 2-7!
A wonderful article. Thank you!
Hi Tim & Mike,
Great practical advice. I love the rewards system. I use it all the time for my kids and finds it works well on me too! It also increases my productivity knowing I have that prize dangling just ahead waiting for me to grab it!
Attitude of course is everything — Wayne Dyer’s quote was one I repeated every day in my healing process “When you change the way you look at thing the things you look at change”. Indeed they do!
Thanks for the great post and Tim thanks for introducing Mike to me — I will definitely check out his site.
Gratefully,
Jenny
@ Dave – Thanks Mate. Michael is a great writer and I was lucky to get him to post here. Who knows hopefully I can tempt him again.
@ Ali – Yeh, I never really think about the pace thing that much, but when I do it makes perfect sense. Also the stepping up part it so true too. The more we do it the more it becomes part of our comfort zone and the more we can stretch that CZ further.
@ Vered – That is something I don’t ever think I’ve thought about before, but on reflection it does makes perfect sense, especially for all us visual types ;-)
@ Evelyn – One of the first things that I ask people that tell me they hate their job is “Do you want to change your job, or would you rather change your attitude and learn how to like your job” Often the answer is to do both.
@ Evan – Who cares as long as happiness follows? The only reason we want the money is because we think it will make us happy. There are many ways to be wealthy and money is only one of them.
@ Alastair – Thanks a lot. I must admit I haven’t seen him live and only have recordings, but there’s enough in there to know I’d like to. Hopefully one day he’ll make it to Florida. Thanks for the feedback.
Cheers Tim – another excellent post. I’ve been fortunate enough to see Michael live on two occasions and highly recommend the experience.
Keep up the good work, your blog is consistently insightful, interesting and very humorous. This makes a timely change to some of the bland personal development blogs I’ve been subscribed to in the past! All the best
If only the money did follow.
Some good stuff here – practical and sensible, just what I like.
I like the tip on “change your experience of your work”. Too many people view their jobs negatively. Perhaps it is a difficult boss or next to impossible targets to achieve. I’ve seen some of my friends thrive in senior positions, even though they have challenges, because their attitudes are positive. They chose to focus on the good aspects and learn to triumph over the “bad”.
“Add some color” sounds like a small thing, but is really important. If you have any control at all over your work environment, making sure it is aesthetically pleasing really does make a big difference.
Fab guest post, and great list of tips for making your work a happier experience. I certainly agree with #2 – “Put some pace in your day”. Creating an artificial deadline can help, and it’s surprising how you can race through things when lunch is approaching … ;-)
I also think #4 – “Step up!” helps; my attitude in the Day Job (now thankfully behind me!) was to always say “Yes” to anything extra I was asked to do. That meant doing a presentation for the first time, then running a couple of training sessions — scary but invaluable experience and a good chance to grow!
Great article Michael.
‘Choose your attitude’.
This is something that I find myself trying to remember to do. I’m slowly winning the battle, but the very well established (and less desirable) behaviour patterns keep pushing through.
Ho hum. Nobody said it would be easy.
I read ‘Rich Dad’, and whilst I know it’s been knocked by many I think I got a great deal out of it. It made me look at my situation in a different way and that set me off along my current path…. having ditched the day job for a better life!
Thanks Michael. Thanks Tim.
Dave.