The pub was about to close when I burst through the door. It was in the middle of nowhere and there were just two locals sat at the bar talking to the owner.

“Do you sell champagne?” I asked the owner hopefully.

He and the two locals stared at me with disbelief, almost as though I’d just asked them if they minded I make love to the huge framed fish hanging over the top of the bar.

I knew it was a stretch and this wasn’t the kind of pub that would have much call for much more than beer and scotch never mind champagne, but it was worth a go.

The landlord shock his head slowly and said, ‘Nope sorry son, but I think I have a bottle of Pomagne in the cellar’

Pomagne is quite possibly the worst faux champaign in the known universe, even Unicorns decline to drink it.

It’s not even made from grapes but apples and was popular in the 70’s and 80’s with people trying to look sophisticated and failing badly.

‘That’ll do” I said without hesitation.

He disappeared down into the cellar and I stood there awkwardly as the two men just looked at me.

Eventually, he reappeared with the sparkling liquid, I paid him hastily and left.

My friend had arrived in the parking lot and said, “What’s going on. I thought you were waiting until her birthday?”

“I’ll explain later, just give me the damn ring” I replied.

An hour or so earlier I had a big bust up with my girlfriend who was going through a crisis of confidence and thinking I wasn’t committed to our relationship.

Seeing as I had bought an engagement ring and was planning to ask her to marry me on her birthday I was somewhat frustrated.

The ring was at my friends house 20 miles away and I stormed out of the house pissed off that my plans were falling apart.

I found a phone box, called him and asked if he’d meet me half way with it at the pub in the middle of nowhere and he agreed.

When I got back home Helen was lying on the bed looking incredibly miserable. I toyed with going down on one knee, but thought fuck it, and threw the ring on to the bed.

“How committed is that?” I asked.

Probably not the most romantic proposal the world has ever known, but it made a point.

She opened the box and burst into tears and for a split second I wasn’t sure if it was because she didn’t know how to say ‘no’ or the ring was too small, but fortunately it was because she was happy.

I have made some really shit decisions in my life, but I’ve also been lucky enough to have made some great ones and getting married is numero uno.

I said in the title that this was the most self indulgent blog post you’re ever likely to read and in some ways that’s true.

But there is a germ of self development contained within – it really isn’t just about me.

Tomorrow (13th) is our 20th wedding anniversary.

My wife (in fact both of us) have gone through a lot of shit in the last 6 months, some of which I have talked about on this blog and some of which I haven’t.

I am super proud of her and the way she has handled herself and coached me!

She is loved by her patients, her colleagues, her family, her friends and of course, me.

So what’s the self development takeaway?

You have made some shit decisions and you may occasionally get down on yourself for doing so, but you have also made some great decisions.

You have fucking rocked it on occasions and you should dwell on that more than on the times when things haven’t gone so well.

Celebrate what you do have because focussing on what you don’t will eat you alive.

I wanted to buy Helen a horse for our anniversary, but unforeseen circumstances have made that untenable in the short-term. Instead I just wanted to publicly tell her (which she will be highly embarrassed about) I love her and always will.

Thanks for reading my ramblings and no, we never drank the warm Pomagne.