The Root Of All Human Suffering
On Tuesday I spent 2 hours on the phone with Apple tech support.
I have had similar problems now stretching back almost 6 months and across 2 different computers, including a brand new one.
In that time I have probably spent 20 hours with support and I’m no nearer solving the issue than when I first called in.
Even though it’s still limping along I now have to take the computer back into Apple and may be without it it for a few days.
Other than my iMac I only have a MacBook Air and that’s totally inefficient for doing what I need to do, so those few days maybe somewhat challenging.
Yesterday my 6 month old HP printer quit on me.
After spending an hour and a half with their version of tech support they conceded that it was, and I apologize for using highly technical jargon, fucked.
They wanted to ship me a new one that would take 5 to 7 business days to get to me. If that wasn’t quick enough I could pay for overnight shipping.
I pointed out as gently as I could that I’d rather cut my own testicles off and use them as earrings than pay them shipping for a product that was faulty and under warranty.
Fortunately they agreed because I was starting to regret that metaphor. I look silly wearing earrings.
I’m An Expert!
As a Life Coach, expert in dealing with stress and regular meditator none of this bothered me in the least.
I remained calm, even-tempered and wished lovingkindness on all the various techie people I spoke to.
No sorry, that last bit was the dream I had last night.
The reality is I was fucking livid as I had to cancel two client sessions and was not looking forward to fighting my way into the Apple store on a Sunday and then trying to work on an inadequate computer.
In short, I was miserable.
And do you know why I was miserable, and why every single person who feels down, does so?
Because I had a belief that, “this shouldn’t be happening, life shouldn’t be like this”.
But it was happening and life is exactly like this.
You could have sailed an aircraft carrier between my thinking and reality, the gap was so large. You could even have leaned out of the window waving at friends without worrying about crushing your arms.
As I sit here with my dead printer to one side and looking at a Mac whose hard drive could die any minute I realize it was silly to get upset.
More importantly it achieved nothing positive, except maybe free shipping.
The Root Of All Human Suffering
Every time you get pissed off, down or angry it’s because you think the world shouldn’t be like it is.
But the world is exactly like it is. It doesn’t give a crap what you think and isn’t going to bend to your whims and wishes.
You can either accept this unarguable fact and try and best as you can to embrace equanimity.
Or you can fight a losing battle and create, at the very least dissatisfaction, and at worst, abject misery.
That doesn’t mean you should never strive to improve things or even change things that need changing.
It also doesn’t mean that you should tolerate injustice, hatred, poverty, subjugation etc.
It just means don’t attach the outcome of your attempts to change things to your happiness because often the outcome is totally out of your control and therefore so is your happiness.
Image Courtesy of: BelgianChocolate
Haha, given the blog title, I really didn’t expect to read about tech support problems, but I had a few laughs, so proceeding to read was worth it.
I agree with you on that part of the root of suffering is because of our ways to think that we are entitled to a world where everything will go smoothly; thinking that what we always reap what we saw and there shouldn’t be any bad things in life, especially not in our lives.
I totally hear you about the tech support, it’s often a real pain even just talking to those people.
Hope you’re having a good day!
It’s all resolved satisfactorily now thanks Sandra.
Yes we all lose our temper and vent our anger but think about who it really affects not the person or object that you are angry with- but only yourself.
The world is how it is and how we see it is how we see it. I have always liked the map itself is not the territory. or I guess in many cases now, the GPS output is not the territory.
Working on unattachment goes against what many of us are taught growing up, but I have found that when I let enough go I feel better, lighter and ready to live more.
Yep!
Took me a long time to figure this out and apply it to my life, but once I did things went more smoothly. not perfectly all the time, but much more smoothly.
It’s a journey right? ;-)
Deep thoughts, Tim.
(And seriously, I cannot believe you are STILL having computer problems!)
We’re almost there I think, just got one final wipe of the hard drive and reinstall with Apple on Sunday. Hurrah!
Life consists of our efforts to improve the world. Every day we are trying to make something good for our lives and as a result we are trying to make the whole world better. Though, of course, there are some moments when everything goes wrong. It helps us to see the difference between good and bad.
You’re a good person Maria. Let me suggest you a different point of view. Just for fun, maybe. Just as a little play that can be silly, not a declaration.
You may take efforts out of trying to improve the world or you may act out of love (to world). What’s the difference?
In the first case you know how the world should be, what should be changed. So you have a picture how the world should be, and it becomes (that picture or making a change in real world) your goal. And you know that your goal is good. And you are responsible for achieving this goal, so you take actions. But you feel resistance when you take these actions, so you call these actions – efforts.
When you love someone, would you name: going with him, traveling to him, or doing something for him – an effort?
So in that point of view:
#1. World is bad.
#2. You know the picture how the world should be.
#3. You have an obligation and responsibility to work/act to change the world.
#4. And you may succed or fail in your efforts.
So the world is bad, you have a grave obligation, you have responsibility and duty you can’t deny, and you may (and sometimes always) fail in your endeavors. And then you will evaluate your deeds, and yourself, and feel good, every time you suceed, and feel bad every time you don’t (which can be often).
I think this road has two drawbacks.
First it will frustrate you, and you will be always not good enough. You’ll never succed, because the world will be always different than (you think) “should be”.
Second. It not applying to you. There were many people who thought they wanting to improve the world, but has wrong ideas how it should be, or what should be done to achieve ultimate goal. They started (and starting) wars, imposing misery on other people. But all these felons, ultimately wanted a better world, an improved world. Yet they brought a misery or disaster.
So maybe the second case is worth considering. Acting out of love.
When you act out of love, you don’t take efforts because acting out of love evokes no resistance in you. You don’t know how the world shoul be, so the world is as it shoul be. So you don’t need to judge your acting, according to change you made in the world. But you know what is good and in a suprise, you may discover, that what is changing is – you yourself, and that – changes the world.
You don’t know how the flower should look like, you don’t know how the man should be and behave. But you may love them. And that love may couse flower to blossom and people to flourish and you to be happy.
So maybe good dedds may come out of love, not just out of conviction about obligation that man have to the picture of the world, which he imagined, and want to impose on reality, and play a role of the king or God himself.
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Sory for possible language mistakes and (maybe) to long reply.
It wont happen :)
you rather know what you may do in your current situation
Good answer!
I think life consists of our efforts to improve ourselves and then by definition the world changes :-)
I agree. First I use ubuntu linux for many years, and it’s so beautiful tool, that I would never return to other IT solutions.
Second: You right. The reason we are unhappy is that we “know” how the world should be.
In fact, (almost) the only person who makes us to suffer is ourselves. “He make me suffer, or she did it.” we can hear. But. Is that “he” or “she” now next to you? Is that situation or (so called) problem now in face of you? Or… it is you who creates and sustains the picture of “unjust” person/behavior/situation in your own mind, and hurt you because of that.
The reason we suffer is that we create “links” between outside reality and our inside. When this reality “shakes”, automatically we feel pain. And you right – we create these links because we “know” how the world shoud be.
If we wouldn’t know it, then… who cares? :)
(that’s a brief thought but a long story)
Bang on Zbyszek!
Expectations often get us in trouble, don’t they! I’m so sorry you’ve had such a miserable time. You already know what to do. It just happens to be harder to do at certain times than other times.
Hope you feel better soon.
I was better within hours thanks Sandra. Now I’m already thinking “Hmm, maybe I could afford an SSD drive that would be much quicker”!
This was very much needed today. Our well pumps froze up this morning. No permanent damage or anything, just really annoying, and we had to go without water this morning, and I had to shower at work… and I felt myself descending into that Death Spiral of Moping.
Thanks for that!
I love your “death spiral of moping”
Sorry about your well pumps–that is not good.
Tim, love your analogies. And, you would probably look terrible in earrings. But it made for a great laugh.
Yesterday my son had a molar pulled, and 7 cavities filled. Our previous dentist’s advice to not worry about X-rays was dead wrong. Plus, this new dentist who is the only one in town who puts people under for dental visits–initially told us he would take a medical card and then after we waited 6 months for the appt. tells us the day before “oh, you must have misunderstood.”
I too suffer from wanting things to just go right. Why did I believe that other dentist? Why didn’t I double check everything? So, I’m feeling guilty as sin and I’d say just move on, except now my son is short one tooth. Maybe this is just mopping–but I try to use it as a lesson.
Maybe that dentist would look good in earrings!
x-rays shouldn’t be a problem Mary presuming the necessary precautions are taken. Some people are battered by x-rays (oncology patients etc) and they do fine.
I have had literally dozens of x-rays at the dentist and other than glowing in the dark, I’m fine!
The cure to all this is to laugh, trust me!
I needed it again when my credit card got cloned and I’m working through that crap now! It’s all good ;-)
Tim, that is so – sorry for the wording, but it’s your influence – fucking true. And I love you for writing this and even more for how you wrote it (I’m a big fan of your style anyway, regardless, for ever).
I only wish it was easier to detach from my own concepts about what the world/life should be like and that what I think about is RIGHT! (yep, it comes out that so often I still prefer to be right that to be happy…)
and good luck with technology!
How dare you swear on my pristine website! ;-)