Why Racism Is The Antithesis Of Self Development
I spent a day or so in the ER this past weekend.
The details aren’t important other than to say chest pain and shortness of breath don’t necessarily mean you are about to become an ex-Life Coach and shuffle off this mortal coil.
During the time I spent there I probably came into direct contact with about 50 members of staff.
That’s a lot in such a short period of time until you realize I had 3 lots of blood taken, 2 chest x-rays, 2 nuclear medicine scans, a stress test and 2 CT scans over about a 24-hour period.
I don’t like watching TV lying in bed and my phone service was intermittent at best so between the battery of tests and being prodded and pocked I had plenty of time on my own to think.
As I lay in the hospital bed it suddenly dawned on me the remarkable diversity in terms of the people who had been there to help me.
The youngest (one of the guys who wheeled me from my room to have a scan) was probably no more than his early twenties. Whereas the oldest appeared to be in her late sixties.
But obviously it didn’t stop there when it comes to the disparate nature of the hospitals staff.
The first doctor who came to see me was judging by his accent, Eastern European. My cardiologist was Chinese and my Attending Physician, Indian. All were first generation immigrants if their accents were anything to go by.
One of the porters was from Jamaica, one from Trinidad, another from Ireland and the rest I didn’t have long enough journey’s with to really get into a conversation about their life history.
My nurses were in order of appearance British, American (white) and African American and one of the technicians was from the Philippines and another from a Middle Eastern country, I forget which now.
I don’t think even Obama’s wildest supporter would deny that the Affordable Care Act needs some serious attention if it’s to deliver on its promises.
It’s not a disaster as one well known person would have you believe as it has saved thousands of lives, but it needs substantial changes.
I’ll tell you how you could make a total and utter disaster of it though.
Remove immigrants from the health care system. In fact you don’t even need to go that far to cause a total collapse.
Just ask African Americans to leave, or even just people from the Indian sub-continent and things would grind to a halt faster than the career of somebody selling total eclipse sunglasses.
There was never any stage where I wondered to myself whether I wanted help from the member of staff who was helping me because of their skin color, gender, ethnicity, religious beliefs or what football team they supported.
Without exception they were all super helpful and very friendly. And just as importantly, they all seemed to know what they were talking about.
But the fact of the matter is, I don’t think I’m in the least bit unusual.
I’m pretty sure that 99% of the white nationalists/supremacists (whatever) marching at Charlottesville would have been fine too.
Sure there would be the very occasional outlier who would refuse help, but I’m convinced they are such a tiny minority that we don’t need to be concerned by them any more than I am about encountering a Leopard when I walk my dogs.
Being in a situation where you need help from others is an amazing equalizer and forces us to see people as they are and not how we want to believe they are.
You may be wondering what this has to do with self development?
The answer is, a lot.
Self development is a journey of discovery with no end point. It’s an evolutionary process.
You cannot truly develop the self without developing the ability to accept other ‘selfs’. It’s entirely counter intuitive.
None of us can manage on our own, we all rely on other people every single day to survive and thrive.
And you don’t need to end up in the ER to be dependent and appreciate the help and value of others.
Just go for a meal in a restaurant, fly on vacation, go grocery shopping, take in a movie, or even just stay at home and watch a movie – none of it matters because they all involve other people.
And the truth of the matter is, we have no way of controlling who those other people are.
We cannot control their background, their values, their beliefs or their history, yet they are still very much part of our lives.
If you are into self development and are intolerant of entire groups of people based on nothing more than a few fears and prejudices then I have some news for you.
You fucking suck at self development.
And without a willingness to change and see the other side of the story, you will always suck at self development.
Great post, Tim Brownson ! Indeed, life coaching is very helpful to those who are having a hard time living their lives to the fullest. I do see life coaches as experts who can also Mindful Coaching. They can surely help people live a happy, healthy, and positive life.
When I grew up I developed my own prejudices about a certain kind of people very early on. Fortunately, I was always an avid reader, which helped to change perspectives here and there and I was blessed with the sort of thinking that would ask “what is my prejudice based upon” or “is there another perspective that could be a little less harsh or even a little fairer”? I also had no problems just asking people about things that seemed odd to my way of thinking. On one occasion, I had a Zulu employee come into my (executive) office, who sat himself down without my invitation to do so. I looked at him and then commented: “You know, in my culture it is rude just to sit down without being asked to do so – why did you do that”? The man looked back at me and explained:” In my culture it would be rude not to sit down, otherwise I would be looking down at you, which would be a very rude thing to do in my culture”! I have had the privileged to work with many different kinds of people in different countries and continents and it was always a great experience to investigate my own prejudices and learning from others – erasing the prejudices…and finding out others are about as quirky as we are ourselves! So, if you have a prejudice (e.g. bloody Poms!) that’s OK and is probably a very human trait, as long as you are prepared to approach others with an open mind! You’ll have a lot of fun too!
Living in the UK the atrocities of London and more lately Barcelona have brought home to many that we will never get rid of racism, no matter how hard we try.
Chris that may be right, but we cannot stop trying just on the off chance!
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.
Above quote from Statue of Liberty is still valid. We should respect and cherish those striving for freedom, for all humanity. As we enhance others so are we enhanced.. those who wish to subjugate and minimalise others are not welcome. The commercial marketplace that our world has turned into devalues people into an economic unit. That’s why the USA doesn’t have a health system–it’s the wild Wild West.
But Harvey, I thought this was the greatest country on earth and God was keeping a special eye out for it?
There’s a lot I like about the US otherwise I’d leave, but I hate the way that the corporate sector couldn’t give a fuck about anything other than profit.
I’m also amazed by how many people that are only one generation from immigration (and sometimes not even that but first generation) are so keen on closing the doors behind them.
if this country is truly to become great, then it will do so on the back of immigrants.
Thanks for your comment.
Fully agreed! In order to develop ourselves, it is vital to accept others – and not only accept others, but learn to value the skills and knowledge of others. We can learn a lot from others but more important, we can learn a lot about ourselves through others.
Yep. There’s not a person on this planet who we cannot learn something from. And to realize that is quite humbling.
Good article . I was born in sri Lanka and then moved to London UK. My father was a police officer and continued that job in UK. I would love to see a world where people are judged by their skill set and not their skin colour or stereotyped by other similar people in their culture who behave badly.
I think we all would Devika, although whether it will ever happen or not is another question :(
Great post. I don’t have anything to add re health care. I’m lucky to live in a country with socialised health care. It’s not perfect but it’s a step toward recognising everyone deserves care and respect. That’s what I really took from your post too. That, for me, is the point of self development. It’s not to manifest millions or live on a beach or have a big Instagram following. It’s to learn to face your own stuff so you can be a better human being.
Yes that’s pretty much it in a nutshell. Not that I would mind millions, but I can still be happy without them!
I always found it really weird that a country that thinks its shit don’t stink doesn’t have a national health care policy like Australia has Medicare. If you get the same kind of cancer that I had in the US and you don’t have “insurance”, then you are fucked, plain and simple: Good night Irene. I don’t know how much this kind of insurance costs in the US, but I’m thinking it’s probably more than a lot of people can afford. I read somewhere once that it was like $500/mth, but I don’t know how true that is. I always wonder what happens to you in the US if you get a broken leg, a stoved in face, are in a bad car accident and have blood coming out of you all over the place..do they turn people away from hospitals if they have no insurance? Away with your broken leg! Of you hobble! No health care for you! Doesn’t sound like a very nice place to live if you ask me.
There are some hospitals that will take people without insurance. They won’t just leave you to die in the waiting room. However, they may bankrupt you with the bills afterward.
Medical bills is the single biggest cause of bankruptcy in this country.
It is not just Obamacare, but our entire health care system would crash and burn without the many immigrants and minorities who populate every rank, including the most elite concierge medical practices that are springing up. My own recent experiences (many) with hospitals, rehab centers and private physicians have shown that ethnicity is not the key to good medical care. Increasingly, I feel I am receiving more empathetic and respectful care from those whose backgrounds are other than second+ generation white American. Surely not all; such generalizations are too broad. But if you take away immigrants, you take away the American health care system.
I probably didn’t explain myself very well Susan, I was meaning the health care system per se would collapse.