
Imagine This – A Story About Gratitude
You’re on your way to a very important meeting and you’re running late, but then again you’re always running late.
All of a sudden the car makes a feeble coughing sound, lurches a few times and then splutters to a halt.
You look at the gas gauge and realize you forgot to fill up last night. You pound the steering wheel in annoyance and frustration.
You were in a hurry to get home from work last night to prepare an urgent report for today’s meeting.
You promised you’d get gas first thing this morning and simply forgot in the usual morning chaos. Your mind was elsewhere.
Even though you’re still a ten-minute drive away from your appointment, you figure you can make it on foot in fifteen if you cut across some wasteland and get a move on.
You grab your cell phone, lock the car and set off at a jog. You hop over the wall by the side of the road barely noticing the ‘Warning – Keep Out’ sign and head for the freeway a mile or so away on the other side.
You curse the weather as you start to sweat in the hot summer sun. The last thing you need is to arrive flustered, red-faced and sweaty.
Goddamnit why does this always happen to you? You pick up the pace nevertheless because you simply cannot be late.
You’re half way across the deserted land when suddenly and without warning your feet give way.
You start to slide and as you look up you can see the sky disappearing from view like a train backing out of a tunnel at high speed.
For a split second you’re thrown into a state of confusion, panic and disorientation as you realize you’re falling.
Almost as soon as you process this information you hit the ground and come to an unceremonious halt. You’re shaken and stunned.
A quick bodily check reveals you’re ok, no bones broken or limbs twisted, just a scratch or two and a rapidly beating heart. You breathe an audible sigh of relief.
As you gaze round in the half-light it becomes apparent you’re in a disused mineshaft. Both left and right are sealed off and the only way out is the way you came in. You jump to your feet and dust yourself down in preparation for climbing out.
You’re cursing your terrible luck again and wondering how you you’re going to explain the way you look when you arrive.
You can just reach the earth by standing on tiptoes and stretching, but the outside world is another four feet above that. Scrambling and jumping to get out you just pull more and more dirt down on top of you with your flailing arms.
You start to panic as you realize it’s useless:
You’re trapped.
Your cell phone has no signal and you know that you’re some way off the beaten path. Why would anybody normally be walking across here?
The memory of the sign suddenly resurfaces and you a wave of nausea rises up through your stomach and into your throat.
How do you feel?
Angry? Claustrophobic? Terrified? Maybe even all three simultaneously?
After a few hours you’re hoarse from shouting and nightfall is drawing in so you make yourself as comfortable as you can.
Did you curse the warm weather? Now you’re grateful it’s not winter. Now you’re grateful you’re alive. But you’re still scared, really scared. Maybe you even start to pray?
Sleep does not come easy, if at all. The regrets start to come thick and fast as you face your own mortality for the first time in your life.
Why didn’t you spend more time with your loved ones and tell them how much you loved them? Why are you rushing for a meeting that you don’t even care about?
If you worked for yourself as you’ve kept promising this wouldn’t have happened. Why did you put off that trip to Europe when the family have always wanted to go? And why oh why are you working eighty hours a week in a job you despise?
But it wasn’t supposed to be like this. The script is all-wrong; you should have way more time to do that stuff. There’s always tomorrow..
Late on the second day you’re slipping in and out of sleep. Your life is streaming through your consciousness in all its Technicolor, quadraphonic glory. You’re struggling to know if you’re awake or asleep. Are you hallucinating through isolation and dehydration, or is this what dying is like?
Voices and pictures from your past are blurring into one another, but the laughing and shouting makes no sense. Then a surge of hope pulses through your veins as you realize the voices aren’t inside your head, they’re above you.
You summon all your energy to shout for help and hear them draw closer. Suddenly a couple of boys are peering down at you looking very perplexed.
What the hell are you doing down there?
A good question.
An hour later you’re being lifted to safety and met by news crews jostling for your attention, a hastily formed crowd and some paramedics. You’re checked over and given a saline drip to replace fluids, but you just want to go home to your family.
You don’t even welcome the glare of the TV lights. Funny that. Fame was always something you yearned for, yet now it seems trivial and unimportant.
There is an emotional reunion with your family when the Paramedics finally deliver you home still wearing the same disheveled, mud spattered clothing you left in.
You’re ravenously hungry, but you want a shower first. You turn on the faucet and feel the cold water run lukewarm and then hot under your outstretched hand before stepping into the tub.
The warmth of the water hits your face and it feels sublime. As you turn round you can feel the water cascading down your back and you breathe deeply absorbing the perfume of the soap in your hands. Have you always had this soap?
You’ve certainly never noticed the aroma before?
You watch the grime run down your body and feel your muscles start to loosen and relax as the water caresses your neck and back. A shower never felt so good, yet you must have had thousands over the years.
What’s the difference, what is allowing you to finally experience something that’s always been available to you?
As you take the time dry yourself slowly you can smell your dinner being prepared. You put on your favorite robe and head back to your waiting family. The tears flow and you make a silent promise to yourself that things will change.
Dinner is savored and you take the time to really taste and appreciate the food you have been served. Normally it’s a race to devour it as quickly as possible so you can get back to your laptop and deal with urgent e-mails. What’s urgent now?
The next hour is spent talking, laughing and crying some more, before exhaustion starts to overtake you and you head for bed.
A few hours after drifting off to sleep you wake with a start, your heart pounding, your brow sweating, your hands clammy. For a split second in the pitch black you think you’re back down the mineshaft.
Then the noise of your partner snoring softly beside you awakens you to the reality that you’re where you should be. A sound that used to irritate you is now a one you cherish.
Finally you understand.
One day it won’t be there for you, one day all of this will all be gone and you never know when that day will come.
As you stare into the darkness you make a promise to yourself. Next time you’ll be ready in the only way you can be, by living for the moment without remorse or regret. Never again will you allow urgent to take precedence over important or work to come before family.
You close your eyes and drift back to a peaceful sleep.
Hi Tim,
Got here through Lisis. I’d like to thank you for this post.Today, I needed to be reminded to focus on important things not just the urgent ones.
Btw, very good cartoons images. :-)
Hi Tim,
I’ve just stumbled across this post today. Was a great read while I’m sitting at work, stuck in my cubicle, my own mineshaft if you like!
Keep up the good work,
Andrew
I wasn’t planning to read all of the post but couldn’t stop after the first sentence. Super!
I love the way this blog was created; the depth of the content, but the lightly-presented-never-boring blog of yours. Great post!
yes you are right, nice post:))
Great post Tim! I too follow the mindset of ‘Quality over Quantity’.
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I really enjoyed reading this post. It was very moving.
@ Michelle – That IS the point! That we all to soon forget what we have. The example I gave was extreme because A NDE can often lead to lasting change. By all means not every time, but quite a lot.
The point is, why do we need a NDE to realize how lucky we are, me included? It is possible to retain the same feelings, but it requires conscious awareness and that can be problematical for a lot of people.
Hi Tim, I read this when it first went out, as I’m subbed, but got your email about it again today, and thought I’d comment.
I didn’t really see what point it was making, all it made me think was how quickly we take things for granted. I have never had a traumatic experience like the one above but can liken it parts of it to some of my previous experiences.
Two years ago I had the best meal I have ever had, it was breakfast in a Morrison’s supermarket. Before eating I was able to use their facilities (better not say toilets as many Americans read this). The pleasure of using a clean loo with a flush, and being able to wash my hands in hot running water is indescribable. Then sitting down on a proper chair at a proper table and having hot, cooked food on china plates with metal cutlery in pleasant warm surrounding was sublime. we all had refills of hot chocolate and 6 rounds of hot buttered toast as extras between us. It’s making my mouth water to think of it. Every time I see a Morrisons I am reminded of that delicious meal.
Morrisons breakfasts are good, no doubt about it, but they are no better or worse than the zillion other places serving breakfasts, but this was 10ish on a wet Monday morning in late June. I had just left Glastonbury festival. The weather was dire the whole 5 days I was there, constantly dragging wellies through mud which was churned in some places over a foot deep. That morning I had been up since 6, packing our tents and caravan, the kids sat in the car out of the rain while we got it all packed up. I was very wet, tired and physically exhausted and have never been so pleased to see the back of anywhere as I was to drive off that field.
That first shower when you get back to ‘reality’ is blissful, and the next and the next, but a week later everything is back to normal, you now longer appreciate your flushing loo, or fridge full of food, it’s all just as it should be. I am pleased to have had the experience to know a little of what it is like not to have the things I take for granted at hand all the time, but I think like most people we only really appreciate them when we don’t have them.
Wow! Got here from Gala Darling’s website & this post is fantastic!! I wasn’t sure what to think at first (apart from how familiar it was all sounding!) and I thank you now for the reminder!
@Nelly! – Welcome and thanks a lot for the feedback! I have to be honest and say it’s not my usual style of writing, but maybe I’ll try and be a bit more serious from here on in. Then again, maybe not ;-)
I think you should write dark more often. I just don’t stop getting notifications of new comments.
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Tim, fantastic post. You’re right, it’s impossible to scan, it really draws you in, you’re a storyteller all right.
Just a question though, and maybe it’s a side point: If people do this exercise and find that they wish they didn’t spend so much time at work, maybe they are working at the wrong thing?
I say this because I’m in the process of changing careers and all I want to spend my time on is related to the new work I *want* to do but don’t get to do all the time (I have to work at other jobs to fund it).
But maybe this only relates to the creative industries – perhaps, for example, if you’re a nurse, you love your job, you know it’s a great thing to do and adore helping people but you can’t cope with doing/thinking about it all the time?
I don’t know because I’ve never done a job I love – anything I’ve been paid for has (a) not been creative and (b) I’ve hated.
Tim – I’m not a writer/blogger, maybe you can apply your brain to this and make a post? It’s something that makes me curious when people say things like “you never wish you spent more hours at work” when all the creative people I talk to have to be dragged away from working, hanging on by their fingernails, and I just crave the financial freedom to be like that too (i.e. just enough work in my field to keep me alive).
Hope this makes some sense!
@ Ray – That can and does happen to people that have had NDE’s. I even mention it in my post today. It’s up to the individual and I’m guessing your wife may get you to toe the line and stop it happening with you ;-)
Funny. As I was sitting in the mine shaft I decided my thoughts would be these:
“Boy, this is really about the worst thing that has happened to me in a long time. Boy, is it great. Great things are going to come from this. But, I swear, really, I mean really, no really this time, I will appreciate and count my blessings and stop being a lunatic.”
And, then after my shower and my dinner, I started getting stressed about the tenants who owe me money and that report I have to do for Monday….better hurry up and get back to work…
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Wow! That’s all I have to say.
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@ Mike – LMAO, That’s funny bud, now get back down your hole.
Dear Tim,
Your disclaimer arrived a bit late, but the mineshaft has excellent wireless reception. Thank God for 3G cards! As I am not a total imbecile, I brought some rope to climb out, and told my wife I was going. Unfortunately, she was a bit pissed with me when I left, and I forgot to tie the rope to something before I jumped in the hole.
Eagerly awaiting tomorrows post…..
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: I want to make it perfectly clear I don’t want anybody hurling themselves down a mineshaft. You can get the same result from thinking about it.
Timbo:
I am loving this post exquisitely! It makes me want to go out this very day and throw myself down an abandoned mine shaft, or well, or somesuch and get me some of that here and now essence.
I don’t care what they say, you’re alright by me….
mo~
Tim,
I caught myself doing the drift back. Had the NDE in Feb….Captain, something is burning back here…..Emergency to follow. Safe outcome, yet in pillow therapy (where I lay in my hotel room counting the popcorn texture thingys on the ceiling) I say that things will change. Last Summer, I had to help my cousin bury his baby boy, things would change then.
Somehow last week I caught myself in a rage about my 2 year old interrupting me while working on a webpage, and yelling at him, and my wife to cut me some slack. How could I go from there to here? The good news is I caught myself, the bad news is that I know I will pass that way again.
Okay, Life Coach, earn your keep…. Eagerly awaiting Wednesdays follow up.
Cheers!
Once again, thanks a lot for the comments everybody!
@ Vered – DO you know research suggest that even those that god through NDE’s slowly drift back to how they were before. Sad but true a lot of the time.
It’s amazing how screwed up we get our priorities until some near death experience or crisis recalibrates us back into range. It’s a shame that it takes that instead of us living with passion and purpose in the first place. I am doing that more, living from passion and purpose. Since I have started that quest, my work is fulfilling and more authentic, and my relationships are more vibrant and intimate. Life is not a drudgery to get through but and adventure to be had. Mindset makes all the difference!
This is awesome. I am glad I followed the story along.
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Tim, I can honestly say I’ve never cried when reading a post before but I did with this one. I was right there and felt the emotions of nearly losing my family. A fantastic post with a lot of meaning. Thank you very much for writing this and sharing it. Will twitter, stumbe it and digg it. Thanks again Tim, Steve.
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This may reveal what a sick chick I am but you made me laugh… out loud.
Good writing Tim!
And I’m going to watch the snow.
Jennifer Loudens last blog post..Choose Your Life Mondays #13
Wonderful! What a great guided experience in rediscovering the preciousness of life. I love it.
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Thank you, Tim. I don’t have much to say except that I agree with the message, that it was profound and extremely well written, and that unfortunately human nature means that for most people, experiencing near-death is the only way to truly change one’s priorities. Just imagining it normally doesn’t have enough power.
This is not to say that the message is not worth repeating, because some people WILL change their behavior once they realize – on a theoretical level – they’re mortal and tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. I’m just saying that most people won’t.
Vered – MomGrinds last blog post..International Women’s Day: We Still Have A Long Way To Go
Hi Tim – I did my very best to imagine this wasn’t happening to me and just read the story, as I didn’t want to feel the accompanying stress.
I’ve ran out of gas on the way to meetings and fallen down holes but never at the same time before.
This story does make you value what is important in life. When I’m on my deathbed I’m guessing I won’t be wishing that I’d spent more time in boring meetings, or working more weekends because of technological glitches.
If I ever get back into the crazy pattern of all work and no life again, I’ll remember this story. Thanks.
I enjoyed the lesson, the writing and surprisingly your lack of sarcasm and humor. It’s a side of you I rather enjoyed.
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Slowing down, living mindfully, and still accomplishing the goals that are important to me – this is something I’ve been attempting to balance for awhile now. Thanks for a new way at looking at things.
Thanks again people, I’m really grateful for all the kind words.
@ James – Asked a couple of interesting questions and rather than blather on here I’ll make them the topic of my next post on Wednesday.
nice one Timbo
Inspirational.
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Hey Tim,
Great visualization exercise! I recently tried this method in a post called Throwing Up Gang Signs, and I too had to use 2nd person. 1st and 3rd person were just clumsy & verbose.
Keep dabbling in this style, and always keep venturing outside of your comfort zone! As you said, in my experience, most growth requires for me to push through discomfort, until it no longer exists.
I agree with the moral of your story. I’ve found the real challenge is consistently nourishing that epiphany and incorporating changes in my life which reflect it. Otherwise, the shower will soon be taken for granted, the dinner will be scarfed down, and the snores will annoy!
Thanks again,
Derek @ NüHabits
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This was beautifully written, thoughtful, and just plain fantastic. Nothing more to say. Thank you.
Stephen – Rat Race Traps last blog post..Warning: This Board Game Could Get You Out of the Rat Race
Very well-written Tim. And the message…one worth hearing…
Awesome job on this!!
Lances last blog post..Sunday Thought For The Day
Wish I’d written it.
But as I came to the end, then read all the comments, a thought struck me. I wasn’t thinking, “My life will change now because of this.” I was thinking, “I want to live like that. But I know that in 20 minutes, all of this will be forgotten and I’ll fall back into the same pattern and routine.”
I can also bet that most people will do the same. Some sooner, some later, some much later… but most will.
So I have a question. A thoughtful one. Why? How can I read this, feel it, want it and know that I’m not going to do anything about it? Not because I don’t want to, but almost as if it’s out of reach.
Am I making sense? If yes, I’m curious. Humor me. Or make it your next blog post :)
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Very poignant, sir. I was driving with my wife this weekend and there was a school bus in front of us, and it stopped and went through this elaborate thing to let off a kid in a wheelchair.
I said to my wife, “Next time I say something about a problem I’m having, remind me that I have no problems.”
A little perspective can do wonders.
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Beautifully crafted, Tim. Therapeutic metaphor at it’s best! Thanks for sharing. :-)
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A huge thanks to you all for the comments. Of course my wife has read this and now I’m being hoisted by my own petard as I write.
A couple of quick replies and apologies for not going into the detail I normally would.
@ Jonathan- It crossed my mind to make it a parable and extend it out somewhat. There was lost I left out. I still may do that.
@ Claire – They wont go if they don’t want to, so write what feels good to you.
Also it’s really gratifying to know that not everybody wants to scan. Maybe I won’t hit the heights of blog traffic that some sites can claim, but I’m cool with that.
Tim, you’ve got the storytelling genius stirring inside of you. Thanks for sharing it with us. More importantly, thank you for writing the story in a way that made us all realize what we take for granted in our every day lives.
Although none of us experienced this scenario physically, I’m certain we will all think differently of our next meal, our next conversation with our family, and our jobs.
I think doing something outside of your comfort zone is just awesome, especially when you come up with something like this. ;)
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Tim, I love that your articles aren’t for scanning. I write like that too. You can’t touch people in bullet points, and this article is proof of the power and pull of real writing and story telling. You hypnotized me with this, and it is a important message. At the same time, I felt tears of frustration too because I find this staying in the present and being grateful for the little things very hard to do right now. It works for me if life is going along well, but as soon as problems crop up, like they have the past few months, I sink into an obsessive dwelling on how to fix said problems, while also letting my general feelings about life sink with it. End result is I end up stressed out, lost and frustrated at my inability to enjoy anything.
How do you stay present and grateful when you have big issues that need to be handled, and they’re being handled slowly, but you don’t really know which way forward? There is no quick fix, but you can’t seem to sit still with the process.
Kelly@SHE-POWER
Tim, thank you! You’ve taken us on a deliciously satisfying journey and then home again to everyday wonder, and to the miracles that shine all around us.
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Really enjoyed this post Tim.
I have held back on writing quite a few posts lately, as I have worried that they may take people to places that they might not want to go.
So as well as loving the actual post, I also got a lot of value out of the disclaimer.
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Hi Tim~
I loved this story! It’s a fantastic reminder to live every day like it’s your last.
Good for you for holding onto your integrity. I’ll admit I usually scan on the web unless it’s a relatively short post. There’s just so much information available that it becomes challenging to focus and absorb any one piece. However, it was well worth it to go on the journey in this story. You’ve inspired me to slow down a little more often.
~Lori
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Hey Tim,
First of all, YAY for long blog posts that really pull you in, develop an idea and make you think and feel! Personally, I am constitutionally incapable of writing a post that is less than 1200 words and I love coming to your site because I feel like I get a whole meal and not just a little snacklet!
And this post….. what an amazing, deep and heartfelt outpouring of wisdom and love. I too, was crying and on the edge of my seat and also see a novel in your future!
Thank you for taking the risk. You are an inspiration and a role model…. Hey, have you ever thought about maybe becoming a COACH??? ( -:
Keep up the excellent work!
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Great post Tim. I remember a story from way back about a man being chased by a tiger, he comes to a cliff and grabs a vine. Looking down there are more tigers below him and two mice gnawing at the vine. He knows he’s going to die and in that moment spots a strawberry growing out of the cliff face. He reaches out, puts the fruit in his mouth and never before realizes how sweet a strawberry could taste. Thanks for the reminder Tim … done of course in your own unique “Tim Brownson” way…..superbly
Thanks for this one, Tim; I’ve been getting too caught up in the “urgent” recently. I really hope it gets a few people to wake up before something dramatic does happen in their lives to kick those priorities straight…
Inspiring, dark and fascinating. You have no need to fear.
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Hi Tim,
It was really an inspiring post. PLUS I agree with what you wrote in intro that “I’m dubious as to the long-term value of superficial posts when the subject matter is self-development and personal change. “
Maybe a novel is in your future Tim. Seriously, that had me gripping the edge of my seat. And quadraphonic? Wow, you owned me. I learn something new every day.
Well done, and props to you for stepping outside your comfort zone.
Awesome job, Tim. You got me to open Tweetdeck and Firefox. On a Sunday. That’s harder than it sounds. Tweeted, Stumbled, Deserved.
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very nice post … nice way to show that it’s all relative and we can choose our attitude and way to cope with the everyday stuff which often seems far more overwhelming than when we do fall down a mineshaft … even tho, ultimately, they can have the same results on our lives.
enders last blog post..If It Weren’t For Those Meddling Kids
My God Tim, in floods of tears here and I already DO try to live in the now and cherish each moment. Must have a way to go yet then…
o_O
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Wonderful post man… gives me a lot to think about, and definitely worth mentioning to some friends.
That is a spectacular post. Very vivid and call to action-y (is there a word that means that?). Thanks Tim!
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Best blog post I have read in a loooong time. And so wonderfully written Tim, only you could have put this into words so well
I’m going to tweet this now!
Cheers,
Glen
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Hi Tim,
Jay gave me a head’s up on this post and I am so happy he did. :-) Beautiful and so very true. Sometimes it takes being at the bottom or a life changing near death experience for us to get to that true overwhelming sense of gratitude for everything we DO have. For me it took years of illness and pain and a grim prognosis. I don’t believe it HAS to be so though and hopefully some will be able to acquire it by just reading a post as brilliant as this.
Thank Tim. You are always so good at making me laugh and think but this one made me FEEL goodness and gratitude from the inside out. We all have many things to be grateful for… your writing is one of those things for me! :-)
Love, Jenny
Wow Tim- you always provide depth, but usually it comes with a laugh. This came with a tear, and shiver. Thank you for throwing me down a mind shaft today and allowing me to reflect on my decisions.
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Damn it, Tim, you’ve made me cry now! Seriously, what a wonderful post. It’s so easy to take the little things in life for granted – forgetting that it’s the little things that make a life worth living – and this post draws attention to that fact beautifully.
Thank you
Amy
xx
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