How To Feel Crap

There has been uproar in the UK recently as those supposed bastions of good sense, good judgment and good ethics, the Members of Parliament, have been found somewhat wanting in the good sense, good judgment and good ethics departments.

It seems a very large number of MP’s have been claiming on their expenses for all sorts of things they probably shouldn’t have been claiming for.

On the whole it has tended to be mortgage payments on second homes. Although that was purely for those lacking in world-class accounting flair.

A few were far more creative with the standout winner being rather unsurprisingly, a Tory MP.

The Right Honorable Douglas Martin Hogg, 3rd Viscount Hailsham and Member of Parliament for Sleaford and North Hykeham (you couldn’t make it up), claimed the money back for having his moat cleaned out.

Seriously, the simple fact you have a house that needs a moat suggests to me you probably aren’t short of the $2k needed to have it cleaned.

Unless that is, you are struggling to sell your cottage in Wales, Apartment in Monte Carlo and credibility to the general public.

Needless to say the MP’s caught with the snouts, faces and cloven hoofs in the trough are being pilloried by their colleagues, the media and an irate and incredulous population.

In fact, the Speaker of the House has been forced to resign for the first time in over 300 years. That’s over half a century before the US was even a gleam in the Founding Fathers eye, so we’re not talking about just impeaching a President, this is serious stuff.

I had the TV on in the background the other day and heard this one guy hurling a stream of vitriol at a rather confused and sheepish looking MP.

I glanced up to see this person with throbbing temples and bulging eyes stabbing his finger in the air in a manner that suggested he wished a bayonet were attached to the end of it.

Here was a man that seemed to think death was too good for ‘em and he wanted his tax payers money back and probably a public stoning or two before he could countenance sleeping soundly in his bed at night or allowing his blood pressure back below 180/120.

My guess would be that the man in question already held the belief that all politicians are corrupt and this scandal was all the evidence he needed.

A few weeks ago when the whole Susan Boyle thing on Britain’s Got Talent kicked off there was a lot of talk about it on Twitter.

Her performance was as stunning as it was unexpected and the YouTube clip quite rightly got retweeted again and again and again.

It was an amazing performance that I personally watched several times in the space of an hour or so and had the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end.

Then all of a sudden a few people started Tweeting about the reaction of the audience and panel members. In fact, there were some very indignant Twitterers who were offended by the way the audience had been giggling when Susan Boyle first came on stage.

They didn’t like the way people were laughing at her, because let’s face it, laughing at somebody because of their appearance and the likelihood they are about to make an ass of themselves, is just plain wrong. Everybody knows that!

I love it when my clients come to me with massive goals, and trust me I’ve had some big ones.

Earning $3 billion before becoming forty, making a walk-in medical center available for any person on the planet that needs one and getting American car salesmen to treat female customers seriously are some of the biggest I’ve had. Some of, but not THE biggest.

The biggest goal I have ever been given by a Life Coaching client it the desire to stop judging people.

That may not seem that huge to you, but think about it for a moment. Can you honestly say you can look at a stranger and not jump to any conclusions whatsoever?

If you can, then I’d ask you to question that belief before I mail you your canonization complete with self-assembly halo kit, because I suspect it won’t stand up to serious investigation.

Think of all the ways you can judge a person without ever knowing anything of substance about them.

The color of their skin, how heavy they are, the tattoos and/or body piercings, the length of their hair, the way they walk, the car they drive their femininity or even lack of it, the language they speak, the religion they follow, the paper they read. What about their accent, or their clothes or a personal favorite of mine, the ‘tone’ of their e-mail!

You could even throw into the mix judging somebody because they are small, have gray hair, are not particularly attractive, probably can’t sing and have entered a talent contest.

Or maybe judging somebody because a split second edit on TV makes them look like they are laughing at somebody because they are small, have gray hair, are not particularly attractive, probably can’t sing and have entered a talent contest.

Or how about judging a whole batch of MP’s that look like they may have been at best, artistic with their expenses. Surely that one’s a no-brainer and a fun sport we can all join in?

I guess it would be great fun for me to hop aboard that high moral horse if it weren’t for one small niggling string of indiscretions. When I worked in sales I confess with a heavy heart to rounding up my mileage expenses on several occasions.

So it would be a bit hypocritical for me or anybody like me to be up in arms, right?

The same goes for anybody that has taken stationery home from work, ‘forgotten’ to pay for something, not bothered to returned a borrowed book, used the Internet on work time, rounded up the bill to a client, rounded down the figure really owed to the Internal Revenue, snuck into the movies or a sporting event without paying, found something of value and not handed it in etc.

Do you know of anybody that fits the above criteria?

More to the point, do you know anybody that doesn’t? If so they may need to be polishing the first stone ready for some serious casting.

By all means if you want to get appalled, disgusted, angry, outraged and shocked by other peoples actions, be my guest and play judge, juror and executioner.

It’ll make you feel crap, but it most definitely is your right to do so. But be aware that it is your judging based on your map of the world that’s causing you to do that, not any ‘facts of the matter.’

We all judge (this post is littered with judgments)  it’s what we have been taught to do.

However if we can recognize that and not take them too seriously, we’ll feel better not just about others, but more importantly, about ourselves.

Man to attractive women in bar: “Would you like to sail away with me on my private 60 foot yacht? We would head to my own island that is lapped by the warm waters of the South Pacific and stay in my luxury $10m beach house.

We would be waited on by my personal staff night and day and have gourmet food cooked each evening by my personal Michelin starred chef.

We would drink the finest most expensive champagne and watch the beautiful sunsets holding hands on the deserted beach.

Then we would we would make love on a stunning 4-poster bed dressed with fine Egyptian cotton and fresh fragrant rose petals?”

Women: (In a swooning type of style) “Ahhhh, that sounds just wonderful, when can we go?”

Man: “Not so fast. How about a quick half hour in my Motel 6 room instead?”

Woman: (in disgusted tone) “Absolutely not, what type of woman do you think I am?”

Man: “I thought we’d established that and we were just negotiating on price”

Image: ‘Craps on a dice table’ Courtesy of Alxhe