Even Life Coaches Get Stressed
It all started about mid-December of last year when my anxiety levels started to creep up on me again.
This is nothing new, I have had an on-off relationship with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) since as long as I can remember.
And I’m being serious, I have no recollection whatsoever of a time in my life when anxiety wasn’t a mosquitoes dick away from making an unwanted appearance.
For the decade or so before I started coaching I relied on self medication and distraction tactics, such as working all the hours I could in the week and partying hard at the weekends.
But those tactics were about as likely to succeed as if you were to decide to feed the Lions at the local zoo by strapping a dead Zebra to your back and asking them to please nibble carefully.
Into Life Coaching We Go
It was the search for other alternatives that took me on to a stress management course and then into Life Coaching.
It probably saved my life.
Since then I have acquired some rather sexy tools for dealing with my anxiety.
It doesn’t mean it never rears its butt ugly head, just that I know now what to do when it does and can counteract it (usually in minutes or at the most hours, rather than days, weeks or even months).
In December I was really tired and also really busy.
Running A Daring Adventure is enough on its own, but Coach the Life Coach was taking off and I was trying to get a lot shoe-horned into a shorter month with a vacation back to the UK looming.
The first thing to drop off was my meditation.
Actually I say it dropped off, it would me more honest of me to say, I dropped off.
Bye-Bye Meditation, Hello Napping
I was so tired I took to meditating lying down, usually doing a body scan, knowing damn well I’d fall asleep for half an hour.
Sleep and meditation are not the same thing.
If they were the world would be a lot more chilled, happy and even-keeled.
By mid-December I’d convinced myself it was already the holidays so it was ok to relax with a glass or two of wine rather than meditate or work out in the eveing.
If you’re shaking your head and thinking. ‘What the fuck was he thinking off?’ you’d have my admiration for being so on the money – maybe you should become a Life Coach?
The vacation was brilliant, but turned into a full frontal attack on my liver.
Traveling with friends who like a drink, seeing old friends who like a drink and spending time with family who like a drink is a recipe for having quite a few drinks.
It was fun – a lot of fun, and I don’t regret it, but coupled with the fact I didn’t meditate once or put in more exercise than walking to the bar, meant I got home, not refreshed, but exhausted.
The stress didn’t abate when the new year kicked off because I had more on my plate than Mr Creosote in Monty Pythons ‘The Meaning of Life’.
About a week into 2015 I thought, ‘This cannot go on, I’m sliding back to where I was 12 years ago and I don’t want to die just yet. I want to win Miss World and save the Panda’s first’
With Coach The Life Coach I feel like I have a massive duty of care to the people I train to make sure the information I give them is as good it can be.
I was trying to keep up with all the Social Media and SEO (search engine optimization) changes on on my own.
Both industries are constantly changing and morphing and I was having to read up on them on a daily basis and still struggling to keep my head above water.
There are people bailing out of the SEO industry because they can’t keep up with Googles changes and that’s all they do! They aren’t having to coach and run two businesses too.
Life Coaches Need Life Coaches Too Sometimes
I hadn’t worked with my own Life Coach for almost 3 years, so I changed that by hiring Meredith Hooke.
Not only is she a great coach, but we share the same dark sense of humor, love of Jim Jeffries humor and she’s also a meditation expert.
Since I committed to her that I would stop dicking about and do it properly I haven’t missed a days meditation. What’s more, for the first time in 8 or 9 years I’m really enjoying it.
I also hired a Social Media expert so I could forget about having to trawl through the daily, and sometimes twice daily, updates knowing not only was I not letting my students down, but they would be getting even better advice.
I hired a designer so I could drop the feeling that some of my course information was as attractive as Keith Richards after a 3-day bender, and I re-hired Chris Gaskill my awesome web guy to help in certain areas.
I also started doing Rick Hansons incredible ‘Foundation of Well- Being’ course. I am only about 1/5th of the way into this as it’s designed to be a 12 month course, but the material, (both depth and breadth) is like nothing I’ve even seen before.
You can check it out here because I think it’s going to be a real game-changer in the industry.
It is an affiliate link because as soon as I got into it I knew I wanted to share it with clients and my readers, but if you hate the thought of me earning a few bucks if you sign up, then just Google it and avoid the link.
By the way, I plan on writing a more in-depth review when I am further into the course that will appear in my newsletter, so please sign up in the box on the right!
I also plan to hire some other people as I develop the Coach the Life Coach course and so I can also get back to do what I do best, which is coach, teach and write.
Oh, and I’ve knocked the alcohol on the head for a month or two because I didn’t like the way that was going.
Whenever I have quit drinking for extended periods in the past it’s been daunting. For some reason this time it feels nothing like that, it feels liberating.
I have no intention of never having a glass of wine again. But I have every intention of never pouring one because I’ve let myself get stressed senseless by not taking care of myself.
That’s a promise I’ve made to my coach, my wife and now you.
We all have one body and one life and sometimes we need help.
I had forgotten that.
Which is kind of weird when you think I earn my living by helping people.
I am new at LIfe Coaching… I’ve been a school counselor for over 20 years and was just certified as a life coach. Stumbled upon your website… I loved this article because I sometimes feel disappointed with myself when stress and anxiety get the better of me. Thanks.
Yeh don’t worry about it, it happens to us all, we aint perfect.
BTW, as a new coach you’ll find lots of free information here:
http://www.coachthelifecoach.com/blog/
Since when did life coaches grow wings and halos Tim? We teach best what we most need to learn….Fortunately it does give us the edge when it comes to recognizing the warning signs, especially if we’ve been there before, and we do know what to do about it. We also recognize a slippery slope when we feel one and know that urgent intervention is needed so we generally do stop dicking around and get back to the self care and delegating program pronto. I’m delighted you have. I’d hate to miss you winning Miss World! And I’d miss your wit and wisdom too. Great that Meredith is keeping you on track :-)
Yeh those Buddhists are hard task masters ;)
You are reading my mind, Tim. I usually don’t meditate over weekends (cuz I sleep longer on those days) or holidays. And on Monday I almost feel a physical urge to meditate because anxiety starts to kick in. Same happens when I drop or decrease exercise. So I guess I’m stuck with these two till the end of my life:)) and should make meditation same as morning shower routine. By the way I started to meditate regularly after your course, so super grateful to you for that!
And delighted you did.
You are stuck with it to the end of your life, but the good news is it will probably be a healthier, happier, longer life!
Very authentic post Tim, reading your newsletters lately I’ve felt an undercurrent of stress and too much ‘busy’ness. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed, trying to be everything to everybody, in business and life. It’s the oxygen on the plane analogy for me every time. Care for your self, because if you don’t, caring for others will become a chore and a resentment.
Agreed and I am just about to meditate!
I agree with Shanon but not quite with Tim.
I understand your postition this way: Poor result is not bad or wrong. Poor result is just an INFORMATION that attitude we took, actions we made, habits we endulged, lead us in different direction, that we try to go. It (poor result) gives us just an information about disparity between the path we adopted to achieve our goals (between our expressed intentions) and our real route.
But in my opinion such an interpretation and understanding can be applied only to the subject, man, client – itself. It cannot be applied to other ppl behaviour and actions. So, what’s about your favourite soccer team (I prefer NBA)? I am afraid that nevertheless it is rooted in us, such a pattern of thinking, we cannot thruly say that they can achieve poor result. Because we have nothing to do with that result. But they can said it, because it can show disparity between their intentions and effects of their actions. For us it is just a result. If we feel different, we assume that our team SHOULD win, in such and such circumstances. But it is just simply, a try to impose our expectations and will on reality.
When I watch sports game, and my favourite team, I enjoy their succes, and grieve their loses. But I am aware that it is wrong stance :o) So I try just enjoy their effort, look how they deal with obstacles, how they can show their vitality and energy, and how they deal with loses. Because there is not an absolute win or lose in our life. There is only a stance, an attitude and the “now” when these two comes to the reality and creates this most beautifull curl, named – our life.
I was joking mate!
Derby County is my team.
Great post Tim,
We are more like a ship at sea than a train on a track so it’s not too surprising that we get blown off course now and again. The important thing is that we recognize that a correction is necessary and take the appropriate steps. The silver lining is that we occasionally get to see and experience the unexpected but useful. Hopefully it gives us a deeper and wider pool to draw from for our clients.
Cheers
Yeh there’s always a silver lining and I did have an awesome time on vacation!
I don’t know if this falls in the same line, but when I quit smoking the second time, I was ready – and after the physical withdrawals stopped – the only thing keeping me committed was the reasons I had for NOT doing it. PERSONAL reasons, not the vague crap about better health, lung cancer, social pariah, etc…, but the REAL reason. I was no longer able to laugh – at all – without going into a massive, red faced, apoplectic coughing fit – not even a giggle. So my choice since then was simple – laughing or smoking. Easy choice = easy commitment. :)
I’m not implying you’re an alchy, just saying that context is everything. When we’re ready, we’re ready, and it’s WAY easier to get it done, whatever it is. :)
Not admitting that we’re human as a coach just leads to poor results and a lack of relatedness, which according to this really awesome coach I know, is the most important thing there is when it comes to coaching. :)
Thanks for your authenticity!
@Shannon:
Results are just results. Theye are not poor, bad, or terrific. These are just your opinions about results, derived (these opinions) from your assumption what is good and what is bad => what should be and what should not be.
It’s a trick. It is playing God. Is can be a way to nowhere :o)
I can see where you might think that my interpretation of “poor” means “bad and wrong”. I only meant “poor” as meaning something that doesn’t work to achieve the commitment the client says they want for themselves – or in my case something that doesn’t work in achieving a commitment I have made to myself or the client. I stopped making this stuff wrong or right a decade ago. :)
Thanks for pointing out my lack of clarification. :)
I agree, I think we can say if I aim to earn $100k in a year and only get to $3.87 I have had a poor result.
When my soccer team are 2-0 up and into injury time and end up conceding two goals in a minute like they did on Saturday, I’m hanging on to the belief that that’s a poor result!
Humour is one of the best ways to reduce stress. If you feel stressed just go back and read a couple of your posts. You won’t be stressed for much longer! Thanks for the insights and making me laugh out loud in a coffee shop. I’m stress free right now.
Thanks Mike and you’re right. This post actually started out as a post specifically on humor and how we can use it to ease stress!
As always a great post – we can all relate to! Meditation teachers get stressed out from time to time as well! :)
No shit! :)
I can remember sitting down to a meditation with Bodhipaksa one time and his first words were, “Boy I’ve been stressed this week”
I lmao.
Wonderful promise! It a commitment.
By such promises, we, and evidently you Tim, are shaping our lifes. We create them! We take care about ourselves, we controll, to the best extend, what happens to us, and what we do.
Only my guts tells me, that every time I try to shape my life, to give it appropirate form, it puts mi in the situation of stress. Moreover, when I condemn myself I do it for my own godness, but it stress me again. Ultimately this attitude leads to closed, stressed but more comfortable life. It’s a huge improvement in the prison of life, we build with all our effort :o)
Don’t worry or be upset. It is a joke, like everything I say :o)
Trust me, I’m not worrying ;)