I Don’t Give A Shit If You’re Gay
If you’re not an (American) football fan, you may have missed the ridiculous furore surrounding the announcement by Missouri star Defensive End, Michael Sam that he’s gay.
I say ridiculous, because should a 19 year-old admitting he’s gay be a headline, irrespective of who it is or what he is about to do for a living?
Doesn’t that belong in a time when popping a leech on to your manhood to cure impotence was considered reasonable behavior?
If You’re Gay, Is This Really A Religious Matter?
I had to stop listening to the NFL channel on Sirius this morning because literally every single caller wanted to offer their opinion, and sadly, a few wanted to drag religion into the fray.
Whereas it was tiresome to listen to people offer opinions on something that so few of them had any direct knowledge of, there was (to me anyway) a more sinister side.
A story run by Sports Illustrated anonymously polled a number of NFL (National Football League) team officials and it seems, that almost to a man, they believed that the NFL wasn’t ready to take an openly gay player in May’s upcoming draft.
Just in case you don’t know. All the college players who want to enter the NFL go through a drafting process each April (or May as it is this year) with teams taking turns to choose the player they covert the most.
As a highly regarded player and winner of Defensive Player of the Year in the very competitive SEC, Sam’s was expected to be drafted between the 3rd and 5th round of the 7 round draft.
Not any more.
It seems 90% of teams have now removed him from their draft board entirely. Meaning in no situation would they take Sam into their organization.
Not based on ability you understand, but because he’s gay.
The Darker Side
And it gets worse as one team official made this comment yesterday.
“I don’t think football is ready for [an openly gay player] just yet,” said an NFL player personnel assistant. “In the coming decade or two, it’s going to be acceptable, but at this point in time it’s still a man’s-man game.”
What that means in translation is this:
“We know him being gay shouldn’t make any difference, but we’re totally gutless and want to pass the baton to the next generation to deal with discrimination, because we’re too scared to.”
Isn’t it cool that Martin Luther King and the civil rights campaigners didn’t adopt this approach and neither did Abraham Lincoln with the slave trade?
Of course NFL teams have today been scrambling to be seen to be doing the right thing by saying they wouldn’t discriminate.
But what they say in public and what they say behind closed doors to each other or even to journalists, and more importantly, what they do come draft day, may be entirely different things.
The sad thing is, this is an amazing opportunity for the NFL to make a breakthrough and send a message to other sports that this kind of discrimination isn’t acceptable any longer, in the same way football has done with performance enhancing drugs.
And please don’t give me any religious nonsense or quote the Bible at me as some people on the radio were doing this morning.
I Wonder What God Thinks
Maybe the Bible condemns homosexuality, but I really don’t care because if it does, then that in an of itself means people should be questioning it a tad more thoroughly.
Didn’t Jesus preach love?
Did he discriminate?
Does love thy neighbor as they self really mean:
Love thy neighbor as thy self unless he or she bats for the wrong side of course ;-)
If God made people, didn’t he also create homosexuals?
Any person appalled because of what the Bible says needs to distribute their outrage equally amongst anybody who has ever broken one of the 10 commandments.
Which by the way, almost certainly includes themselves.
It’s easy to turn a blind eye, to pass the buck, to hope somebody else makes the changes whilst tweeting or pinning Gandhi’s ‘Be the change you want to see in the world”, but by and large it’s spineless, meaningless and a total cop out.
If This Post Has Offended You It May Be Time To Move On
This post will piss some people off.
It may cost me money in terms of people who were thinking of hiring me now changing their minds.
But guess what?
I don’t give a fuck.
It would be equally spineless of me to keep quiet for fear of upsetting some people who may want to pay me money.
If you’re a Christian, I respect that.
If you’re a Muslim, I respect that.
If you’re Jewish, I respect that.
If you’re a Buddhist, I respect that.
And if you’re a homosexual, I respect that.
What I don’t respect however, is if you try and inflict your views upon me, or think that because you were born into a certain household, at a certain time in a certain country that you are better than other people.
This is a rant I know, but I’m intolerant of intolerance.
What can I say, I’m a hypocrite.
It constantly amazes me that people “are not ready” for same sex relationships. I waited until I was 33 before telling my folks that I was gay.. because I thought they werent “ready”. Truth was they would never be ready because they equated gay with “going to hell”. Busting apart that assumption has taken many years of simply loving them despite their prejudice.
On a lighter note, I saw a quote that I thought was really funny last week – it said “Gay Marriage?.. don’t you think gay people have suffered enough?” Loved it (as a gay married woman :)
LMAO at the quote!
Thanks for commenting Sarah and sorry you parents weren’t ready, and they deserve your love.
Whether a person is gay or straight should be discussed as much as whether a person is black or white. In other words, it is their life. None of our business. Let them live it. The questions that should be important when trying to obtain a job (be it fast food work or the NFL) should deal with their skill sets and ability to do the work. I am with you Tim – enough is enough!
The sad part is Michael Sam’s has bombed big style at the combine yesterday, the pre-draft workout.
His times were horrible and he looked too stiff to play linebacker, so now there is every legitimate reason for NFL teams to pass on him, which sucks!
I have a social worker friend who recently decided to try coaching instead. After hearing how she was dealing with a few of the clients, I shared with her the most important thing we learn in coach training,a good coach is to tell people the truth-the one they are afraid to hear.It won’t make it less
true because people are offended.Rant? No you just have the courage to say it as you see it.Training for MH professionals often teaches that people are too fragile to hear the truth,but that is a myth.
I’m not sure it’s fragility, I think some people just aren’t ready to hear it.
Also, I wouldn’t be so bold as to say I have a handle on the truth, this is just my truth.
NFL stands for No F*****G Longer in our house. After the concussion scandal, we didn’t even turn on the Super Bowl. And now this…bigoted, sinister, self-serving. Thanks for the heads-up.
This isn’t just the NFL Alison.
The same could be said for baseball, hockey, football in the UK, rugby union etc.
The only openly gay football (soccer) player I ever remember was Justin Fashanu and he came out when his career was in decline and ended up committing suicide.
This is pandemic across the vast majority of sports.
I can’t believe I missed this post. I considered not leaving a comment because what I want to say has already been said many times over, but it bears repeating. Thanks for the post. And the two quotes were very appropriate. I’ve written them out to remind me to stand up for what I believe in and not let evil win. Thank you
Yep, they are pretty amazing and accurate quotes imho
Love your posts Tim and this one made me cheer! Keep writing things as they are, the people who don’t like it are not the people whose regard you’d want anyway I wouldn’t imagine…
I have had a post in my drafts folder for about a year entitled ‘Jesus was a Socialist’ do you think I should run it? ;-)
God is a forgiving man! But I do not understand why being gay by the way is something personal that really only effects you if your in their bedroom! I am positive every person regardless of religious preference does something behind closed doors someone else would find offensive or even sinful. There are old laws on the books in many stAtes which would put us in jail technically if we openly talked about it. Being gay is the only sexual act that people feel defines a person. What if you always had to tell people your preference in your bedroom as part of who you are? I am a mother of a 19 year old amazing girl who at the age of 12 started questioning her sexuality and told me she thought she was gay. I told her she was not old enough to date but could love who she wants . It has not changed she not just in a phase. She had hard struggles because we are catholic and thought god would hate her, god is love, forgiveness and be made her that way. She now belongs to a church where she feels loved and normal and I would not trade the wonderful child I have for anything. She is enlisting in the airforce because her test scores were in the top five percent of the state and she will proudly defend OUR country as a smart skilled woman being gay is not a factor because it dose t define her or anyone else no more than excuse my language a CEO of a company who likes blow jobs everyday! There are enough real bad people doing bad things to our country we don’t need to worry about what are country members are doing on Friday night in bed. I am pretty sure if all of us said out loud what we do in bed we could all find some bible verse saying it is wrong. Coming from a Italian catholic home and attending a catholic college remember Jesus loved a thief, a whore and any other man and woman who believed in him. Sorry for the rank but our country is supposed to be the superior nation of intelligent people not ignorance or intolerance ! Proud mom
Excellent comment Crystal, thanks for sharing!
SPOT ON! I enjoyed your post.
Thank you for saying what many people are too afraid to.
I dunno Trisha, by agreeing with me in the comments you too are saying it as are many people it seems.
That augurs well methinks
Most excellent!
Thanks
hey Tim keep on ranting, you are very good at it:-) I will show your rant to my wife who has a hard working,tax paying, loving and thoughtfull gay sister,brother,uncle and aunt. keep up the good work, much respect, Mick
Yes I am ;-)
Thank you for this Tim! Very well said! As for the people who were offended and bailed- sadly it is all too common for people to shut out what they don’t agree with on face value and ignore facts, truths and hypocricy instead of considering them. It’s impossible to have discourse with someone who doesn’t use reason. Reason and spirituality, or even religion, do not have to be mutually exclusive. Anyway, thank you for taking a stand!
“First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out– Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out– Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out– Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me–and there was no one left to speak for me.”
I’ve heard that before I *think* – do you know the source? Great quote btw.
Good thoughts Tim
I am from Australia and one of the hardest hitting forwards in the Australian rugby league came out as gay in the mid 90’s. His name is Ian Roberts. He continued to play and was generally given support and treated with the respect that he deserved as a player and a person.
Ian represented Australia in the sport. it hit the news, no one really had a problem (including other professional players)
However,while in Australia we tend to not give a shit about stuff like that and our entire mindset moves to a ‘fuck it’ therapy approach, I am sure that Ian still had to deal with a lot of bigotry and intolerance.That is what we need to change.
Holy shit, if you asked me to name one sport tougher than football over here it would be Rugby League in Australia.
Good for Ian Roberts!
Hi Tim,
i loved every single word in this article. I can only agree with all the wonderful comments people have posted. We do need more people like you. Thank you.
Maybe there are more people. I did have more than normal unsubscribes, but I haven’t had one e-mail attacking me, unlike previous outspoken posts.
I’m beginning to think that the people opposed it this kind of thing maybe be fewer than I initially though.
Hello Tim, I just took a few minutes to sit here and write a little message:
The world needs more people like you. Intellectual honesty and non-dogmatism are extremely rare. And I mean extremely rare. It’s tough and it takes guts. Guts that 9 out of every 10 individuals in this world don’t dare to have. They prefer to get lost in the herd and attack those who dare to do things better, but always from within the protective mass of mediocrity. You loose money and assholes insult you. People may start disliking you. I say to hell with them.
Thank you for this blog. I find it to be a precious reservoir of honesty.
Thanks Matias and I’m cool with people disliking me, I can be a bit of an ass ;-)
Great post!! I loved every word you wrote! And that you have the courage and integrity to speak your mind even though you know it might offend some shows just how strong your character is!
I think courage is doing something that you fear. I really didn’t fear doing this if I’m being totally honest.
Thank you for saying it. All. Out loud and to the point. If I could “subscribe” twice I would. Carry on. (:
‘ll try and arrange it, thanks.
Very well said. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I’d certainly subscribe twice too, if I could. If anyone’s offended, it’s because you’ve hit a nerve and, although they may not agree with you, I’ll bet that they’ll give some thought to what was said. Even the teensiest germ of an idea that’s different is enough of a start. Remember, out of an acorn is born a mighty oak. Bravo!
I hope that’s true Karen, but sadly I have my doubts.
Good post, Tim. The only thing I’d suggest might be different is your concluding section: “If This Post Has Offended You It May Be Time To Move On.” Too many of us live in bubbles in the internet. I’ve done it myself: someone I’ve followed on social media posts something I find offensive, and I unfollow them. I no longer want to do that, and end up retreating into a bubble where everyone agrees with me. So I’d say, if this post has offended you, then take a deep breath, wait until you’re no longer feeling upset and angry, and then either say something reasonable and considered or do nothing, realizing that not everyone is going to agree on everything, and it’s highly unlikely that expressing your opinion on a blog is going to change one single person’s mind.
But that would be reasonable and sensible!!! ;-)
I do find the religious aspect confusing as well – I know some religions are against eating meat – but they don’t expect meat-eaters to keep it a secret!
LMAO – that’s brilliant!
I hate bigots too
I don’t know if I’d go as far as hate Bill. Although I would say I hate bigotry.
Powerful stuff really, thanks for putting this out there
You’re welcome.
Thank you for being authentically genuine
It is truly refreshing and I can only hope there
Are others with the same “I don’t give a shit ” attitude
I am who I am so take it or leave it.
There definitely are a lot Diane, it’s just that most people don’t have a blog to use to spout off!
So many people already applaud you for this post and I only can echo what is already said. But I just want to express how extraordinary your post was and I’d like to thank you for that. I agree a 100%.
Great although no need to be anonymous around here ;-)
Sorry Tim, did not realized to put my name there. Thought it was automatic like in linkedin.
“What I don’t respect however, is if you try and inflict your views upon me, or think that because you were born into a certain household, at a certain time in a certain country that you are better than other people.”
I loved that. Loved the whole article, but that statement resonated with me. Thank you.
You’re welcome Geoff.
This post is exactly what I needed today! I find it appalling that this is an issue at all with the draft. Kudos to him for standing his ground, knowing it may cost him. Same kudos to you Tim, also for knowing it may cost you. So few individuals are willing to possibly cut themselves short for the sake of standing firm in their beliefs.
It’s going to be interesting to see how this pans out in terms of his career.
Great post as usual. My hope is that the Seahawks draft him. He’ll fit right in with our misfit Super Bowl winners.
I only want to Seahawks to draft him if he turns out to be crap!
Awesome post and spot on! I agree 110%!!!
Thanks Tess
Good points, Tim. We have a long way to go as a species in this area. From an additional perspective, there are 2 things I think that might be in play (in addition to prejudice). If I come onto a sports team, and I try to sell insurance, or multi-level marketing products, or my religious beliefs, many people don’t like that. They want to be left alone with their beliefs without me “selling” them. They want me to focus on the main objective. If I’m hired to sell cars, I don’t sell religion on the job. Even in our community, when someone comes into a forum and starts selling stuff unrelated to the topic, we want them out. If I’m a sports coach I might wonder if this person is more committed to the sport & the team or to their personal agenda to advance their belief system. If they’re more committed to themselves, that’s a distraction, and it can hurt the team. Second, if I asked to walk into a professional women’s team’s locker room (as a male), many of the women would not feel comfortable with that as there is a perceived invasion of sexual privacy. (As humans, we have many insecurities about our bodies, being judged, being stared at by someone, perceived unwanted sexual advances, etc). While I agree that we have lots of room for growth in this area, I think that part of productive dialogue is to be open to seeing the many different sides of the equation and not get pulled into prematurely labeling an entire organization (political, religious, sports or otherwise) based on the actions or opinions of a few or to assume that such a complex topic is just one-dimensional. And sorry about your Rams… I’m still waiting on the Dolphins.
The first point is moot as he came out now to be clear up front and get this out in the open. I don’t think he’s trying to convert people to homosexuality or will be doing when he gets in the locker room.
The second point is one I’ve heard several times and I say, get over it you’re grown men ffs.
The reality is there are already gay and bisexual men in the NFL, people just don’t know who they are.
There were people who offered another side of the opinion when it came to slavery and segregation, should we have kept listening?
Or what about the people who warned Princess Di of holding the hands of AIDs patients, should she have listened to them?
There’s always another side, but it doesn’t mean you should listen to it.
“Maybe the Bible condemns homosexuality, but I really don’t care because if it does, then that in an of itself means people should be questioning it a tad more thoroughly.” Well said. Besides the bible is just another book written by man anyway.
I really thought (until now) that we had finally come out of the dark ages regarding sexual preference. Seriously, how does a persons sexuality have anything to do with playing a game? Are people so stupid still that they feel they might become contaminated by touch when they are on the field? Please, get with the times and move on. He is just a kid who wants to play, so let him coz he’s good.
Nice post.
If he’s done this purely and solely to help other gay athletes, then good for him and I hope it opens the flood gates.
I’m appalled by this – how many more years will this go on?
What shocked me in Paris was the sheer number of protesters out in the streets protesting against same-sex marriage before the law was passed. And yes, the majority of them used the religious slant.
That’s the .. joy … of living in a ‘free’ world I guess.
Religion does a lot of good, but it also does a lot of harm unfortunately.
Tim! Great article, ballsy and awesome.
Thanks Albert and that’s like a blast from the past mate ;-)
I had no idea of this situation Tim and it is a pathetic response by the NFL. I can’t believe this is still seen as such a big issue in America. Good on you for putting your own convictions out there. Loved this post.
Kel
And to be honest Kelly I don’t think it’s the US by any means.
I suspect there are dozens of other countries where this would be an even bigger deal and the guy may even be jailed.
Good to see you again btw!
I think Putin must own the NFL.
Funny story about Putin.
It’s now widely accepted that the Patriots stole Superbowl XXXVI off my beloved Rams. They illegally videoed the Rams walk-through practice the day before the game and thus were waiting for some of the Rams plays.
They have since been found guilty by the NFL and punished with a gentle tap on the hand and told not to do it again.
Robert Kraft the owner of the Patriots met Putin when visiting Moscow and Putin asked him if he could try on his Superbowl ring.
He then nicked it!
Security closed round him and Kraft never got it back even after complaining the the State Department. Apparently he was told to keep quiet or risk damaging Soviet-US relations.
Putin’s a slimeball, but as a Rams fan that is a story that makes me wonder if Karma exists ;-)
I think he’s a shrewd guy. By declaring himself in this way and having all his prospective new employers also confront their prejudices, he has weeded them all out as potential employers. If an NFL team is antigay or even unable or unwilling to cope ( big fucking deal) with the sexuality of a player, then I am pretty sure he doesn’t want to play for them anyway.
It bothers me that growing up and living as a gay, bisexual or transgendered person still seems to be something that makes life harder for that individual. Life is hard enough without these artificial constructs of what is normal or acceptable.
I doubt it’s shrewd as apparently almost every team already knew as it was an open secret at school.
He’s now almost certain to slide in the draft because there are enough questions about his lack of size to play DE in the NFL to allow teams to justify not drafting him. And each round he slips costs him thousands of dollars.
OTOH, maybe it is shrewd, and maybe now some team will be pressured by the NFL to take him, I really don’t know.
Personally I hope he did it to highlight prejudice because that alone is a good enough reason.
I had no idea until today that no one in the NFL has admitted to being gay to date. I was kind of shocked. Let’s assume that there have been plenty of gay men there. How it is relevant to football (or any job, really) makes no sense to me but clearly if they won’t draft him then it is one. Good Lord, when will we see people as simply people, the end?
A few have admitted after they left the NFL, but seeing as at any one point in time there are at least 2,000 players attached to NFL teams in some way shape or form (i.e. as active players or practice squad players) then there must be standing room only in the closet.
Hopefully, Sam’s actions will help others.
Sorry Tim but I have thought that you have written one or two blog posts a bit below par recently, however with this post you have restored my faith in you. Fucking awesome Dude !!
LOL< no need to apologize. After writing 1,000+ post by definition some have to be blow par, although to be honest I liked my last two
Ditto from my side. I’ve never left a comment before but thought your post needed some positive support. Well said. Sometimes harsh, ugly words is the only way to get the rot out of the woods. Anycase, I way prefer your honesty to the constant avalanche of hypocracy I have to face on a daily basis. Thanks Tim and keep getting pissed-off!
Top post Tim, I find it hard to believe that there are still people discriminating against gays for any reason let alone using religion as an excuse for their bitterness and bile.
I know mate, twas ever thus, fear is a weird thing.
THANK YOU for this post, Tim!!! SPOT ON.
Thanks Don!