3 Simple Questions That Will Transform Your Life
The following is a guest post from Damien Dante
Have you ever wondered what differentiates extraordinary people from all the rest?
We all know it’s not God given talent, sheer luck, or natural capacity.
So what separates those who lead remarkable lives from most of those who merely struggle through another day?
Is there a formula for how any of us can go from existing to liv-ing?
Three years ago I was on the verge of ending my life. I was sitting with a glass of whiskey, a sharp knife by my arm. Crying and thinking:
“Fuck, what the hell went wrong?”
I had everything. I had a life most people could only dream of. I had money, friends, love…
And still, I was miserable. I had reached the bottom.
There’s a good thing about the bottom though. It can provoke you to change.
That day I made a decision. I decided not to give up. I created a goal for myself and up to this very day, I wake up with one question:
“How can we (as human kind) make the world around us a happier place?”
During my education over the years on the subject of happiness and meaning, I’ve come to realize what makes the difference in the quality of people’s lives.
It’s All About The RIGHT QUESTIONS
Every day, we ask ourselves countless questions. But few of us consciously choose the questions that are being asked.
Most of us allow external factors, such as our culture, his-tory, fear, and other people’s opinions, to create the questions instead.
That is the biggest issue.
We don’t control the questions that control our lives. We don’t take time every day to stop and pose these questions so they can fuel us for the rest of the day…
Fortunately, we always have choice. At any time in your life, you can choose to change and start asking the right questions.
These questions will create a roadmap for living a remarkable life.
Wanna know what questions to ask in order to start living a mind-blowing life?
Let’s talk about three of the main ones and WHY you should be asking them daily…
1. “How Can I Make Today Better Than Yesterday?”
How do you measure success?
What makes you breathe deeply at the end of the day, smile, and think, “I really did a great job”?
If you want to transform your life, you should be MEASURING your progress in each of the areas of your life.
It’s just like going to the gym. If you just go twice a week and do some running, you won’t achieve much. But if you set goals for yourself and measure your progress every day, you’ll improve greatly.
And while lots of people do have metrics when it comes to their physical health, they forget about creating ones for their mental and emotional wellbeing.
Start every day with one question: “How can I make today better than yesterday?”
This demands that you evaluate what you did well the previous day but also makes you think how you can grow even more in the upcoming twenty-four hours.
What one thing can you do to improve? Even if it’s a 1% improvement, the difference in a span of one year will be unbelievable.
Think of a golfer driving off the first tee. If he is 1% off it’s not a problem for the first 10 yards, it’s barely noticeable.
But when the ball lands 280 yards away, that 1% can mean the difference between the fairway and the rough.
Think about what you want to upgrade today. Your relationships, your work life, your habits, how you spend your free time, your spiritual side… Pick anything.
And start a slow march towards improvement. Day after day, step after step.
Fall in love with the process of growing.
2. “How Can I Let Go Of Attachment Today?”
Dreams are a beautiful thing. But they also can be very painful. The more we dream of something, the more we’re hurt when we fail to achieve it or we lose it.
The biggest cause of pain in our life is ATTACHMENT. Attachment towards people, ob-jects, ideas…
We all have ideas in our mind about what NEEDS to be in order for us to feel fulfilled.
What has to exist in your life in order for you to be happy?
The more things you can mention, the unhappier you’re going to be.
I used to have hundreds of those rules. I couldn’t be happy without my father’s acceptance, without my girlfriend’s smile, without a certain amount of money in my account, without a certain body image I wanted to achieve…
Happiness was always a distant “If…”
The key to transforming your life is finding these “If’s” and allowing yourself to detach from them. Approve of yourself the way you ARE.
Only then can you be fully present and enjoy every element of yourself and the world around you.
Every day, try to think about one rule you have in your life, and then allow yourself to throw it into the trash.
You’ll notice how just the act of letting go of your attachments brings you ease and takes some weight off your shoulders.
3. “What Can I Do To Make Others Around Me Happy?”
Most people are self-oriented.
They start the day, thinking about how can they solve their problems, improve their lives, go about their business… They think about their needs, their wants, and their happiness first.
And while they still can achieve big goals, accumulate great fortunes, build huge companies, they don’t usually achieve the level of desired happiness that is common for people who think in terms of ‘we’ first.
When I was younger, I mainly thought about how I could have a better relationship, how I could have a better job, how I could have more money, how I could be more happy, how I could grow quicker…
You know what all these thoughts had in common? “ME”.
What if we stopped thinking about ME?
What if we focused on THEM instead?
What if instead of being self-oriented we focused first on OTHERS?
I found out with time that the day feels more valuable if we start it by thinking about how we can improve the lives of others instead of thinking, “What about me?”
Now, I try every day to think about how I can make the person waking up with me feel love beyond imagination.
How can I make people around me become leaders? How can I share what I’ve learned with others? How can we all contribute to the world’s happiness?
How can we all grow together so nobody is left behind?
“How can I make people around me happy?” Since I started to ask that question, the world turned upside down for me.
Being a CONTRIBUTOR is a difficult, demanding role, cause you can’t just walk past poverty, sadness, inequality, or hunger like they don’t exist.
But when you stop and do something to make somebody else’s life better for the first time—and you do it consciously and with a sense of purpose—you’re changed forever.
You will remember that day till the end of your life.
When Does Change Happen?
Change always starts with a decision.
A decision that you want more. That you deserve more.
I like to think that every day starts as a blank piece of paper.
How you’re going to fill that piece of paper during the next twenty-four hours is going to de-fine the quality of your life.
Are you happy with how that page looks right now? Are there love, connection, growth, and happiness written on it every day, not only for you, but also for others?
This is what differentiates a “normal” life from a remarkable one—the ability to ask the right questions and allow them to guide you towards excellence every day.
Each one of us can create that excellence. All we have to do is CHOOSE. And there’s no other moment to make that choice than NOW.
What questions are you asking yourself everyday?
What questions can you start asking in order to improve your life?
And what can you do to make sure you start asking them today?
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