When I was researching How To Be Rich and Happy I came across a stat that at first I refused to believe.

I did some more digging to make sure that it was correct because it was the kind of statement that if it were wrong and we’d used in the book, could have made us look very foolish.

It could even have undermined the credibility of everything we’d written.

Here is is, so be prepared to have your mind blown, or to flat out not believe me.

12 months after the event (and sometimes as little as 6 months), a person who has been paralyzed in a road traffic accident is statistically speaking, no less happy than a person who won the lottery on the same day.

You maybe shaking your head with doubt and I can understand that because on a gut instinct level it makes no sense whatsoever.

Your Happiness Set Point

However, we all have what is called a happiness set point and whereas we can rise above our set point on occasions due to favorable external circumstances we can also fall below it when adversity hits.

Nonetheless we are highly prone to return to same level again and again and again.

50% of your happiness is set by your genes.

Another 40% is down to your attitude.

Which means a measly 10% is down to your environment which includes where you live, how much you earn, who you’re married to (or not) and how bling your car is.

It’s not surprising that most people play about in the 10% area because it just makes more sense to think that is where we can have the easiest impact, even if it’s not true.

But all that approach does is lead us onto the hedonic treadmill where we need more and more external ‘stuff’ just to maintain the illusion of happiness we are selling to ourselves.

But if our environment were the biggest contributor to our happiness levels then there would be no happy people in poor countries.

There would also be no happy sick people, no happy homeless people, no happy unemployed people (who want work I hasten to add) and no happy St Louis Rams fans.

But of course there are a great many exceptions to all of the above rules and that’s because of the attitude of the people concerned.

As a Human you have an incredible ability to adapt to your circumstances.

You would adapt to a 20% pay rise in a matter of weeks, but equally you’d adapt to a 20% pay cut in a similar amount of time.

You’d adapt to chronic illness and you’d adapt to a relationship break up.

You’d adapt moving to an entirely different and more hostile climate, and you’d adapt to being told you couldn’t eat sugar for the rest of your life.

There Is Nothing On Earth (except maybe mosquitos) That Can Adapt Like You Can

You are in short a force of nature when it comes to your incredibly ability to adapt and deal with all the shit life throws at you.

In fact, you have dealt with every single piece of adversity life has sent your way and come out the other side.

But still you think you couldn’t deal with this negative situation or you couldn’t deal with that mishap.

Yes you could.

You may not want to, but that’s not the point.

If/when push comes to shove you’ll cope and it’s important to remember that when you have a crisis looming in front of you.

So I hope we’re agreed that even Chameleons weep with shame at your changing and coping skills, right?*

But they laugh in your face when it comes to your lame ability to compartmentalize.

What You’re Not Very Good At

They can have a terrible day on the catching flies front and still go home that night and forget about it – you can’t.

They can have a big argument with their partner over who gets the most comfy branch to kip on and then go out for a few beers with friends and forget about it – you can’t.

And they can be told that their ass looks big in that color and not be remotely self conscious – you can’t.

When I first started Life Coaching full time back in 2005 I would often have clients come to me with one specific thing they wanted to work on.

I would happily set off helping them only to realize that the problem the client presented with wasn’t quite what they thought it was.

It was frustrating to spend time helping a business executive deal with work stress, only to find out the the real source was a relationship going south.

Or to help somebody plot a route to starting their own business only to discover that the real reason they wanted to do it wasn’t because of a strong intrinsic desire, but a need to prove a work colleague or boss wrong about their potential.

If you are having family issues that will impact on your work life even if you’re not aware of it.

If you’re being mistreated at work or doing work you despise, it’s almost impossible for you to stop that having an impact on your home and social life.

Of course some people are better than others at compartmentalizing, but almost nobody has it nailed.

The Holistic Approach

I no longer take what a client tells me at face value.

Not because I don’t believe them, but because I know they can easily miss the connections.

I take an holistic approach to Life Coaching and that is why my core values process is so critical to what I do with clients in exposing issues that sometimes a client doesn’t even know exist.

If you do a job you hate and stresses you out, then you need to get out as soon as you can.

If you’re in an abusive (either physically or mentally) relationship, then you need to get out as soon as you can.

And if you’re in any other situation that is damaging your physical and/or mental health, then you need to get out as soon as you can.

That may seem scary to you, and I honestly get that.

Walking out on a well paying job, a long-term relationship or any situation that is in your comfort zone isn’t easy.

Fortunately though, you are an adaption machine and you’ll not only deal with it, but probably thrive doing so, so remember that at all times.

You will cope and you will manage.

* I realize that it’s a myth and chameleons don’t really change their color to blend into the background, that it’s probably for displaying mood and mating, but I couldn’t think of a better analogy.

Image ‘Chameleon’ Courtesy of lezumbalaberenjena