Self Development Can Take A Day Off
Sometime around the year 2000 I took the conscious decision to stop listening to the news.
Working in sales and spending so much time in my car all I pretty much listened to was BBC Radio 5, a combination of news and sports.
I was very well informed on world events and proud of it. I could have told you where all the world’s trouble spots were and pretty much who was killing who.
It was a slow realization that for 99% of the time this information was useless. In fact it was worse than useless, it was feeding my generalized anxiety disorder.
The sad fact is that very little great news is reported. I don’t ever remember hearing a story along the lines that over one million kids in the US got to and from school safely without any problems whatsoever.
There is something called the availability heuristic.
Broadly speaking it means the more we hear about something, the more we feel it occurs.
Hearing about terrorism on an almost hourly basis as we seem to these days increases your belief that you are at risk from being killed in a terrorist attack.
The reality is you’re exponentially more likely to die in a car accident, or even crossing the road for that matter.
The rise of Donald Trump has sucked me back into reading the news again. I have been fascinated that such a person could be so popular when it’s quite obvious he’s a racist, narcissistic bullshitter.
Sorry if you’re a Republican and support Trump, I really don’t want to offend anybody, but equally the man scares the shit out of me with his outrageous views.
The fact that some people think he’s ‘telling it like it is’ even though he contradicts himself on an almost daily basis and flip flops more than a live haddock tossed onto a side walk is incredibly disturbing.
Recently my routine has changed.
Whereas previously I’d get my coffee and breakfast and read up on my favorite sports teams, now I read the front pages of online newspaper so see which group of people The Donald has offended or what he’s congratulating himself for this time.
On Saturday morning I clicked on USA Today to see that Christina Grimme a previous contestant on The Voice had been shot dead when going to hug a supporter.
I don’t know why but the fact that I have been to the venue she had performed in many times made it seem even more personal and disturbing (weird I know).
I’d never heard of her prior to then, but the fact that some fucking nut job can buy a gun and walk up to a girl in the prime of her life and shoot her in the head made me sick to my stomach.
The following day it got much worse.
Again I sat down at my desk and clicked on USA Today to see that 24-hours later my home town of Orlando was at the centre of another atrocity, only this time 50 innocent people were dead.
I stared at my screen in disbelief and nausea.
Even now I’m in disbelief that somebody could do such a despicable thing.
Then yesterday Santa Monica Police stopped a man who had enough firepower, including bomb making equipment, to start a small war on his way to the Los Angeles Gay Pride march.
It’s not known what he was planning, but he had a gun-related Police record.
Prior to the year there was a strong belief in many quarters that there was going to be a shift in human consciousness in 2012, that we would become more aware of our connectedness as a species.
Well that hasn’t turned out to be very accurate, has it?
In fact, I would say the world is a less compassionate place now than at any time in my life.
When you have people taking to Twitter to gloat over America’s worst even mass killing because the victims were gay, you know you have a deeply rooted problem.
I’m a Life Coach and I blog on self development. I’m breaking all the unwritten ‘how to be a successful blogger’ rules by talking about politics.
But you know what? Fuck the rules and fuck self development for one day.
I’m an agnostic so I’ll not be hypocritical and offer prayers to the literally hundreds of people who have been directly impacted by this outrage, just my deepest condolences.
Tim!
You are my friend, my mentor and my coach so nothing you could ever say would change my high regard for you.
I will share my brief point in the interest of demonstrating that two wonderful and spiritual people (as you and I are) can hold conflicting opinions.
I got into the political intrigue this spring – in awe of the wonderful message Bernie Sanders was giving – I was often moved to goosebumps by his belief in the American middle class.
I was reading the newspaper everyday, and sickened by the mainstream media’s (MSM’s) lopsided coverage against him.
In researching this seeming conspiracy, I found that there is a war going on for our minds and propaganda is an essential tool of a wealthy elite who control Comcast, Time Warner, Disney, and Viacom/CBS. These interests are tied closely with Big Pharma and the Military Industrial Complex.
It’s not that I trust Trump. He seems like a megalomaniac. But I sincerely believe THAT is his defining flaw, whereas Clinton seems to be in bed with some evil people who want to create hegemonic control and world government through enhanced racial tension, fear over terrorism, and there are nearly one million YouTube videos that document so called “false flags” that are used to sway public opinion.
Therefore I warn everyone to be as suspicious of the mainstream narrative as you are of Trump’s seeming out-of-control ego.
I don’t have any other answers besides that word of caution.
Now back to 364 days of self development!!!! <3 I love you all and forgive me if I irritated you!
I’m not in the least bit irritated and agree with much that you say.
America is stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I also forgot to offer MY SINCERE condolences to the people of Orlando. Love you guys!
Greats and interesting articles it is nice info in this post.
Thank you for your response I’m not expecting a debate or trying delibratly to disagree
I just believe distance sometimes gives us a broader perspective and being in Euroasia gives me that
But it also doesn’t negate the pain the people in that community are feeling and perhaps in times of horror its best for those of us not impacted so closely to shut up but notice how blessed we are not to be in your shoes and know we could be ( but are less likely to statistically , you can find data in a quick search , be lose so many people in countries to people who are dangerous , if we are not able to carry around semi automatic weapons and proclaim it a god given right , ! )
I think we also need to remember that re the brexit win and Trump support that there are a lot of people who aren’t racist but scarec for thier economic future ) support these things because they are probably not in a place that that they feel empowered or listened to . .its my not be logical but its what people do in economically and socially uncertain and bleak tim
Please accept my sincere condolences for the loss and horror your community has suffered
This is in no way a comment on the fact that I feel what this man was planning to do was OK but I respectfully choose to disagree with you Tim on one point …our society isn’t worse or less compassionate its much more open and accepting in many ways .. In 1950 being gay was classified as a mental illness and homosexuals in the 1950 were somehow assumed to be child sex offenders as well ( I don’t know why this was the case but I have heard my grandmother say it was just what people thought when she was a girl) . Not only that but gay people ( and I don’t think gay women were ever acknowledged much until the seventies ) were accused of ” luring ” unsuspecting innocent men into a life of sin and evil are sure damnation as if you’d choose to be gay in such a hostile environment !!!! It wouldn’t have happened in the 1950s your damn right because many gay men and women were married and probably both people in these relationships very deeply unhappy. There would not have been a gay pride parade and probably would not be one now if they didn’t have to actively choose to be ” out and proud ” if gay people were always normal. I dont know of any straight couples who are ” out and proud ” because they could always feel pride they had no reason not too.
I understand your anger and I’m not American but like most people from the western world, outside of the us, I am perplexed and bewildered by the US and its attitude to guns and weapons . Guns can’t kill if you don’t have one ” .. But I still think as an outsider I have no right to comment on a culture I don’t understand except to say I don’t understand it and I do have an opinion on it.
Like you I don’t watch the news ( but even outside of the US Trump has seen me looking at some coverage ) I read a comment by a man with an Arabic name from America with the comment ” why Trump makes me worried for my family” my response was ” mate I appreciate that but Trump makes me worried for this world. ‘ ( and as I live in a country that is closely allied to America and goes to fight wars with them and therefore the president of America who affects its policy is my business, I feel I can say in response to this Arabic gentleman’s headline)
So Tim I think its easy to forget how far we have come and how much more accepting we are. In many ways its a better world ( actually I think world isn’t the right word as people in developed countries or even western countries we assume that the whole world is facing and faces the same issues , they don’t and haven’t in Japan in 1850 being a gay man wasn’t an issue for example ) Tim it isn’t worse in my humble but very opinionated opinion . I am willing to change my ideas if you want to convincr me otherwise
To be honest Sally it’s not my job to change your mind.
(moves swiftly into mind changing mode).
I think the main reason I think things are in many ways worse is because they are now hidden and it makes them more difficult to deal with.
There’s massive racism and homophobia in this country, but most people won’t admit to being either. Trump is actually giving them the courage to do that. When he suggested banning Muslims his polls numbers rose.
In some ways we move forward, but in others we move back.
You will also understand a lot of factors from the document itself just like what I have discovered.
I actually added your blog to my favorites and will look forward for more updates. Great Job, Keep it up.
Tim, I’m at a stand still. I’m torn between doing what I believe to be my life’s purpose of helping people or learn (which is proving to be unsually difficult) to put myself and the betterment of my life first. Being self-taught through personal studies and unfortunate life tragedy. I seem to have all the anwsers and resolve for others, yet find myself unable to apply those same effective techniques to my own struggles. Being extremely passionate and abnormally empathetic, helping others roots deeper than anyone I’ve ever met or read of. Do you have any advice regarding how I can do both? I’m 34 and ready for my own success.
Starla, it’s incredibly hard to coach yourself which is why most successful coaches have their own coach – I know I certainly do.
We all have our own blind spots and by definition we cannot see them.
You may find some useful free information here.
I would advise some form of formal training if you want to coach though, just so you can get the basics right because it’s not really about offering people advice.
“flip flops more than a live haddock tossed onto a side walk is incredibly disturbing” love that.
And yes these kinds of tragedies and the politics around them impact our lives. Thanks for the post.
I was just thinking last night, if this had happened in Beirut or Jakarta it would barely have made front page news.
I’m not really sure what I even think of that.
I wondered how the shooting would affect you as I knew it was nearby. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if something like this happened in my neighbourhood. Hope you’re OK, mate.
I completely agree about avoiding the news. I avoid most British news as it’s so depressing, but I do read some of the Washington Post, Slate and a few other seemingly well-balanced publications online.
The world seems to be spiralling into an abyss – greed, selfishness and ignorance seem to rule the day. I really hope Elon Musk’s right and this reality is just a computer simulation, albeit quite a fucked up one.
Pulse is only about 400 yards from where Helen works at ORMC and she says yesterday was insane. The hospital is still on lockdown and she said her walk from the car park to the hospital was through a barrage of reporters and armed Police.
I’m not sure what locking the hospital down now will achieve but wtf do I know?
A-fucking-men!
What truly makes me astonished and a little sick is that this is what we, as a country, have chosen. We have decided that is it OK for masses of people, including little children, to be gunned down over and over again. We may not choose for it to happen, be we have not chosen anything else either.
Yep, tell me about it, I have no idea wtf is going on.
Well said TIm. I don’t have any articulate words to add as I sit here in the UK listening to/reading some scary opinions on Brexit, Trump, LGBT and other inclusive (or not) issues from people I thought/hoped were better. Your words at least have renewed a little of my faith in common sense and compassion.
Thanks Liz and good to see you!