Why You Probably Don’t Know Where Your Comfort Zone Lies
If you were reading my blog a few years ago you will know it wasn’t called ‘A Daring Adventure’
I actually had a stand alone HTML site with a blog on WordPress with an entirely different domain name.
It was a wrench for me to leave it behind because I liked the domain name and tagline so much.
It beautifully encapsulate large elements of self development and personal change.
The blog was called The Discomfort Zone and the tagline was:
‘You Cannot Get From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be, Without Passing Through……….The Discomfort Zone’
For all sorts of reason, not least of which it was confusing having two domain names, I merged everything onto A Daring Adventure.
Surprisingly not many people know what is meant by their comfort zone.
If you ask people, they will tell you, not unsurprisingly, that it is the area or aspects of their life in which they feel uncomfortable, but that’s not so.
Battered women are sadly often in their comfort zone, even though it’s not comfortable.
Soldiers coming under fire can still be in their comfort zone.
A ski jumper about to hurl himself down a huge hill can still be in his comfort zone.
Speaking in public for the first time doesn’t mean you have left your comfort zone either.
Doing something new isn’t necessarily outside your comfort zone, although it often can be.
Doing something that scares you isn’t necessarily outside your comfort zone, although again, it often can be.
However, doing something new that scares you and gets your adrenaline pumping almost certainly means you are outside your comfort zone.
It doesn’t have to be anything like the examples above either.
Where Is Your Comfort Zone?
Asking for a raise or a date may be outside your comfort zone.
Publishing a blog post may be outside your comfort zone.
Changing careers may be outside your comfort zone.
I have no clue where your comfort zone lies, but I do know two things.
Firstly, the more you step outside of it, the bigger it gets and the more epic shit you can achieve.
Secondly, most of your major achievements are achieved by at least initially stepping outside of it’s restrictive walls.
It’s not comfortable stepping out into the unknown with a lump in your throat and a knot in your stomach, but more often than not you will be glad you did.
So what are you doing to stretch your comfort zone?
I agree entirely with your 2nd paragraph, well put!
Great illustration of how comfort zones can vary enormously from person to person Tim – and they shape shift over a period of time i.e. what my comfort zone used to be is often not even close now.
I believe our self sabotaging habits are often a clue. When the procrastination, or excuses and justifications start to kick in we can be sure we’ve reached the boundary of our current individual comfort zone. Then its time to start asking questions, and reaching out for help to help us push through these boundaries.
Tim very concisely, but empathically put. Like Anita I know exactly how all of that feels – one minute chest is out full of pride for doing something that you feel to be right for you, the next head in hands at the thought of it. But doesn’t that sum up life – without extremes we’re just existing.
Yep it’s all yin and yang for sure!
Hey Tim
Can’t thank you enough…. your article always is such a life saver… gets me when I most need it:)
I am now in the uncomfortable zone having quit a job that I was thinking of quitting for over a year…absolutely no clue where I am going from here, although using my time to study subjects that interests me… Lot of well meaning friends n family who are aghast at my decision and who are pushing me to aggressively start a new job hunt….. not easy to handle; )
Anyways just to thank you wholeheartedly for your timely podcasts which has surely helped to get me out of my doubtful states:)
God bless n keep doing what you do…
Cheers,
Anita
Yeh it can suck when other people think they know what’s best for you. Hopefully you will work it out and glad I can help.
Hi Tim, I’m glad you describe what it feels like for someone to be outside their comfort zone! You took it out of the realm of cliche and made it real.
Cheers,
Lynn
I agree. Not only real, but to-the-extreme real.
But hey, speaking in public could be an achievement :p
I like it how Tim, emphasizes an endeavor that actually scares us, how he “eliminates” the less scary up to the point of comfort. Go get it or not. If you’re not aiming for your ultimate goals, if you stop only where you feel relief on levels below your ultimate goals, you’re doing something else–that’s still different.
Great post Tim, as always.
Thank you sir!
Thanks Lynn!