What My Microwave Taught Me About Procrastination
Yes, yes, yes, the cartoons are back!
I know a number of people who were suicidal when I initially removed them and a class action lawsuit was being filed against me for causing unnecessary emotional distress to so many people.
Well ok that may be somewhat of an exaggeration, but I did have one person say he was mildly disappointed to see the cartoons go, and another say, “I don’t really give a rats ass buddy, but if you put a gun to my head I’d probably opt for the cartoons”.
A ringing endorsement I think we can agree which has meant I’ve decided to do a flip-flop that would have any political adviser weeping in shame, and I’m bringing the little fellas back.
Let us never talk about this again.
What My Microwave Taught Me About Procrastination
I don’t know about you, but very few of my great learning lessons in life have come from small to medium sized household electrical appliances.
I did once find out that you shouldn’t ram a fork into a toaster when the thing is still switched on unless you want 240 volts (in the UK) running through your body.
I also discovered that you shouldn’t throw teddy in the washing machine unless you want him to come out sans ears and 50% short in the arm department, but after that I’m struggling to come up with anything.
Until that is the other day, when my microwave taught me a lesson about procrastination that I’ll not forget for for a very long time.
I don’t know about you, but I hate emptying the dishwasher.
It’s up there with ironing, clipping the dogs claws and nailing my manhood to a plank of wood as things I’d sooner not do.
The problem is though all those jobs need doing from time to time and there’s no way of getting round that.
Well maybe not all of them, I rarely do the ironing.
The other day I was in the kitchen at lunch time looking for something to eat when I spotted some fresh clam chowder in the fridge I didn’t know we had.
Mmm, Lukewarm Soup
Job done I thought, just whack it in the microwave for 2 minutes and voila I have a bowl of lukewarm soup for lunch.
As I went to the cupboard to get a bowl I noticed it was the last one and groaned as I realized that was because Helen had put the dishwasher on before leaving for work.
If there is a person on the face of the planet who would sooner not empty a dishwasher more than me, it’s Helen.
The thing is, she knows I daren’t leave it all day for her to deal with when she gets home because she’d probably ram my head down the garbage compactor.
Well, either that or glare menacingly at me, which is actually far worse.
So usually what happens is I spend all day procrastinating on it and then do it in a mad rush 20 minutes before she gets home.
I put the soup in the microwave for 2 minutes and with a heavy heart turned to the dishwasher. It was rammed as usual.
Soldier that I am though, I started to empty it and put things away. About 10 minutes later everything was away and I smiled lovingly at the empty racks.
Then the microwave pinged.
The Wake Up Call
WTF?? I must have hit the wrong button and my soup would now no doubt need asbestos gloves to be removed and 2 hours to cool down before I could drink it – or do you eat soup? Neither sounds quite right to me.
I opened the door and tapped the bowl gingerly to see how hot it was, and it wasn’t. It was exactly like I had planned it to be, lukewarm.
Suddenly a voice popped up in my head:
Me: “You silly fucker, it only took you 2 minutes to empty the dishwasher, is that really worth procrastinating over day after day?”
Me: “Don’t talk to me like that buddy, I’m a Life Coach you know and I’d never allow my clients to be so internally abusive!”
Me: “You make a good point and I apologize. But the cool thing is now you need never concern yourself with emptying the dishwasher again!”
In fact you can even make it a mindful process and get some benefit from it rather than just muttering to yourself that the person responsible for designing the cutlery compartment should be tarred and feathered.
Woo-hoo a win/win let’s high five baby!”
What Do You Procrastinate On?
It is weird that we often procrastinate on doing things that take little time. We build the chores or tasks up in our mind as being way bigger than they really are and we stress ourselves out unnecessarily.
I honestly thought it took much longer to empty our dishwasher than it does. That’s partly because I wasn’t mindful when I was doing it and partly because I’d never bothered to time it.
There are some other tasks that don’t particularly enjoy doing and I now intend seeing how long they really take and adopting a more mindful approach to them which means focusing on the job in hand and not what I’d rather be doing.
Try it out for yourself, you may be surprised at the results.
I was doing the same thing for a while. At first it was because I had broken my knee cap so standing was rather painful. However, that healed and I was still not emptying the dishwasher. I finally looked at all the things I had gotten into the habit of putting off. I actually like getting things done again now.
Great stuff Glynis!
Some great insights from other commenters here, Tim.
I’ve just remembered what my best mate told me about his motivation techniques. He tries to turn mundane tasks into games (a bit like Mariflies above). His games focus around how efficiently he can get them done, i.e. working out what needs to be done first and if he can easily do 2 or more things at the same time (like emptying the dishwasher while the kettle boils).
At Math lessons in school, we learnt something called Critical Path Analysis, which is just a posh-sounding way of arranging tasks in their most efficient order.
I must confess, as a bit of a geek, I do like these sorts of “games”. I would expect that as soon as you (Tim) understand the rough personality type of a client, you’ll have a good idea of of what sort of reframes might work for them in order to boost motivation and reduce procrastination.
Yes on the comments.
as for the clients I have to be honest and say I’d never really thought about it before. I guess stuff like that goes on at an unconscious level after so many years doing this.
I was getting tired of the evening ritual of picking up after kids or fighting them to do chores. I initiated what I called the 15 min Family Pick Up. EVERYONE was amazed at how much we could get done in 15 min!!! Whole rooms got picked up, cleaned, and sanitized! Floors got mopped! It is amazing. It happens every night before the first person starts going to bed.
There are simple rules: 1, Everyone has to do it – 2, Set the timer for 15 min and holler GO – 3, Everyone works solid through and at a brisk rate from the second the word Go is said – 4, as soon as that timer goes off, you’re done for the night, period. If you choose to finish something you can, but NO ONE has to do a damned thing after that timer goes off – 4, Personal space after Public Space, no one gets to hide in their room and make their bed for 15 min, public spaces get cleaned first. 5, the in laws are not coming over, this is not shove everything into unseen places time, it’s actual clean time, do it right.
This one “game” has kept my house clean for 20 years!
That’s frickin’ awesome! Would you allow me to use it as a guest post please with full hat tip to you Mariflies?
Of course :)
Totally stealing that idea, Mariflies. Love it!
Thanks :) No need to steal, I give it freely. I’ve even been doing the same thing every night here in my little dorm room in Taiwan! A habit is a habit after all haha
My mom pulled this on me when I was a kid who always complained about the very same chore. No microwaves back then (and TVs had rotary dials — our son thinks that’s because they had JUST invented the wheel) so she used a kitchen timer. I wasn’t happy about learning that lesson, but it shut me up. And mom was quite happy about that.
Great post.
Ha! Mums are wise beings for the most part.
This is so true, Tim, and thank you for being so honest.
This morning I made a to-do-today list of things I had been procrastinating on (generally to do with paperwork – paying a bill, sending a letter etc) and started working my way down it. I was surprised that in just 30 minutes I’d managed to complete 5 of the 6 tasks – including a few that I’d been putting off for months. MONTHS, Tim! Yikes!
But we know why I eventually buckled down and did it – the pain I was about to receive (in the form of late payment charges etc) was more than the pleasure I got from saying ‘yeah, well, I’ll do that tomorrow’.
A tip, Tim: you can empty the dishwasher in the time in takes the kettle to boil, or the time it takes for you to brew a coffee. So now you have NO excuse. And Helen will thank me ;-)
That could be tricky as I never boil the kettle (I hate tea) and she does the coffee before I’m even up!
I never really had an (valid) excuses ;-)
Thanks for a very funny post! Made my day. With all that manhood nailing, is it like pouring water through a colander when you go to the loo?!
I had to read this post twice because the first time I didn’t understand how your soup could have been on for 10 minutes without erupting all over the inside of the microwave! I thought your microwave must be faulty!
It’s fascinating that you thought a task which actually only takes 2 minutes took 10. I wonder what time-related blind spots I have…
I procrastinate about loads of things. For example, putting a load of washing on this morning. I could have done it at 8am, instead I got around to it at lunchtime. The reason I eventually got round to it was because I reminded myself that it’ll dry quicker if I hang it out sooner, and that’ll please my wife.
In fact, if I reframe any task into, “It’ll please my wife to get it done”, it suddenly becomes a no-brainer. It’s not that I’m a saintly husband, it’s just that I hate the nagging from Lindsey if I leave tasks too long!!
I procrastinate loads of things. I rarely get motivated unless there’s a bit of pressure looming. Often in my mind, it’s because there’s a choice between doing mundane task X, or doing something more interesting. The latter nearly always wins, even if that choice is not in my best interests!
FWIW, I think the discipline of choosing greater long-term benefits over smaller short-term ones is one of the hardest (but most important) skills for anyone to learn. Especially if, as a child, you got in the habit of always doing your homework at the last minute!
Reframe the nagging as her way of helping you become a saintly husband ;-)
And fwiw, I agree entirely with your last statement.
Like they say procrastination is the biggest thief of all time. If i didn’t procrastinate in 50% of my efforts i believe i would of been where i wanted to ages ago!
Then get help with your procrastination issues Brian!
Don’t look back in 20 years thinking “What if?”
Thanks TIM! It’s a new year! Im on my way to greatness!