Resurrection of the Self Help Seminar
If you’re reading this on 1st April you may think the heading of this post is a joke (if that’s what you want, guess what? Life Coaching To Be Banned– honest!). That no way a few weeks after broadcasting to the world about the Death of the Self Help Seminar, Carl Harvey has done a complete volte face and is now a huge fanboy of self development seminars.
One of the things I’ve always found weird about the US election system is the way politicians will viciously attack each other for changing their minds.
My take on the matter is fairly straight forward. When contrary and incontrovertible evidence shows up, then to not change your mind doesn’t make you statesmanlike, it makes you simpletonlike. None of us like being wrong, but we all are from time to time and it takes guts to admit it, especially in public.
So when young Carl sent me an e-mail admitting he may have been a tad rash in his rush to write off a billion dollar industry (made up stat), who was I not to give him the platform on which to explain what or even who, caused this radical mind shift?
I wasn’t totally sure I wanted him telling people I seduced him on Skype, but what the hell, you only live once.
Before I hand you over to Mr Harvey, news on the FREE Life Coaching Offer – I have been overwhelmed with the response to this and as such, have pulled the closing date forward to the 5th April. If you’re interested in having me at your beck and call for 6 months get your arse into gear now.
Resurrection of the Self Help Seminar
“If you never change your mind, why bother to have one?”
– Edward de Bono
OK… You’ve got me. I’ve changed my mind. I’m a new man with new perspectives.
Perhaps the blame can be laid with Tim for this one. After all, it was our lovely shiny-headed friend who seduced me on Skype, recommending I sign up to Jamie Smart’s Salad NLP Master Practitioner course – just weeks after I vowed never to attend a self help seminar again.
Tim’s suggestion set off a series of chain reactions which have had me reevaluating my beliefs about personal development courses – and have had me booking six more Salad seminars, a full year in advance.
This will surprise those of you who read my post ‘Death of the Self Help Seminar’ here a few weeks ago. If you missed it, the summary was: self-interested guru talking at an audience for 3 days – not good at all.
This approach polarized commentators on the post – some were 100% with me, some (even those who attended the same event) thought me guilty of heresy. It became clear that there was a huge difference in opinion between readers of Tim’s blog. Some loved seminars, some hated them.
When you read on, you’ll find out what Jamie got right at this new seminar – and we will also clarify what our unnamed-guru from the last event got so horribly wrong (in my humble opinion).
In short, self help seminars are back in a big way – when they are done the right way. And that right way is by focusing on the audience’s needs, and not on the needs of the guru.
The Art of Enlightened Success
The seminar I went on was Jamie Smart of Salad’s, ‘The Art of Enlightened Success’. This sounds a little like it was designed for bandanna-wearing, scooter-riding, whale strokers, so let me explain.
Whenever I buy something, I like to negotiate. Always. It’s fun and often you’ll be surprised at how much wiggle room you’ll create, just by asking.
So there I was on the phone to Jamie, desperately attempting to bring the cost down (the investment for his NLP Master Practitioner course comes in at around $6500 – not cheap), and was failing rather miserably.
I’d tried everything from standard pleading (I’m young, recently self-employed and this is a lot of money), to brazen name-dropping (I’m very good friends with Tim Brownson, and the only reason I’m considering this is because of him – how about a deal?) … and everything in between.
Unfortunately, Jamie was sticking to his guns and pleading the annoying pitch which people who truly believe in their products reel off – i.e. “It’s worth this much and a lot more”. Bastard.
Finally, through a mixture of sheer exhaustion, irritability and Jamie’s increasingly-consuming desire to talk to somebody different, he proposed that I should attend his seminar on ‘Enlightened Success’ this coming weekend. I wouldn’t have to pay if I paid for the NLP course in advance. Deal?
Deal!
So that’s what got me back in a self-help seminar, a mere two months after telling this very audience that I was retired from the seminar game. The interesting twist is that this was by far one of the most enlightening and trans-formative weekends of my life so far. I’m blown away by the course – and its results.
A Quick Recap
In my last article, I wrote about 4 key pillars that a successful self help seminar should possess.
They were:
1) New Information
2) Inspiration
3) A support network
4) Change
In short, if a seminar provides you with stuff you didn’t know; inspiration to integrate this new info; cool people on the same journey; and lasting change…. well, you’ve got your money’s worth.
Jamie’s seminar smashed these pillars out of the park.
Here’s why:
(1) The audience were the primary focus.
In this seminar, the audience were King / Queen for the weekend. Any questions? Answered straight away. Disagree with what’s being discussed? Instant clarification / argument. Something still not sticking? We’ll stay late a couple of hours and clear it up for you.
Jamie liked to be challenged. He clearly rose to the task of quieting and enlightening would-be dissenters (ahem… me).
He wouldn’t move on until every person (24 of us) was utterly sold on each concept – and not at an intellectual level, but at a “Fuck me, I know this is the way it is” kind of way.
There were no “favorites” in the audience, either because;
(a) the instructor knew them from before
(b) they ate raw food and read energy fields for a living (ahem)
(c) they asked “safe” questions or merely validated the point of view of the guru.
In short, this was the opposite of the “in crowd” I experienced at my previous seminar. In retrospect, in Vegas I remember thrusting my hand in the air to discuss nearly every question – and being summarily ignored each time. Certain folks, however, were being called upon again and again.
My conclusion: it’s hard to achieve spiritual breakthroughs when the seminar leader just wants to talk to his friends and allies.
(2) Metaphors and Stories, Not Logic
One of the things you’d expect from a world-renowned NLP & Hypnosis expert is advanced language skills, and Jamie didn’t disappoint.
Much of the teaching was done in ambiguous stories and metaphors, rather than by using cold logic alone.
Why did this work? Well, I’ve read plenty that suggests that our unconscious mind (i.e. the part of us that is really running the show) responds better to imagery and metaphor than it does to “facts”. Even if we don’t consciously understand why a story is being told, we can get a feeling deep inside us of resonation and congruence.
Over the course of the three days, Jamie used dozens of anecdotes to help us understand what “enlightened success” was at a deep level. I found this simple technique to be disproportionately effective.
Looking back on the Vegas seminar, it was very much along the lines of “If you want to achieve X, you must do / think Y and Z”. Very analytical, very logical. Very black and white.
Jamie bypassed the conscious minds of his audience by appealing to the intuitive aspect within all of us. And in doing so, he deepened our understanding and transformation.
(3) Change. Big Change.
The biggest difference between this seminar and my Vegas one was the REAL change that was going on in the room.
From the 60 year old recently-retired “spiritual skeptic” to the “hard man” motorcyclist, each of the 24 people in the seminar got their money’s worth.
It’s probably worth pointing out that these were British people too, who tend to be more reserved at these sort of gatherings. Even so, there were quiet moments, tears, visible insights and powerful transformations popping off throughout the three days.
I’ve been dwelling upon why this was the case. All I can come up with is that Jamie was devoted to helping the people at the seminar, and that he used a variety of strategies and approaches to make sure that he got his wish.
At the last event, I was left with a bitter taste that,
“this is my way of seeing things – if you don’t think like this, you’re wrong”
Jamie’s approach was,
“if you can’t see my way of doing things, I’M doing something wrong, so I’ll find another way to resonate with you”
One great example of this was when one of the participants at the Vegas event volunteered that “I don’t get on with my mother regarding my career choice”. Guru’s advice? Disown your mother. She’s no good for you. Disconnect from her life.
Oops. A little black and white for some, perhaps.
At Jamie’s event, whilst there was often spirited debate, no one would be told to act in a way which ran counter to their beliefs or wishes. Whereas Guru 1 suggested we chose option A OR option B, Jamie helped us to decide on our ideal result, and then come up with a way to get it – without alienating the people we love.
In one instance, this meant spending close to an hour battering down one skeptic’s views on the money / security “correlation” (read: myth). We didn’t move on until the skeptic had his “ah ha!” moment. This was awesome and humbling to experience – a person’s belief system crumbling before our very eyes.
Additionally, there were loads of “one-on-one” breakthrough sessions and group work. This was hands on stuff – certainly not “sit here and watch the guru speak for three days”. The group worked as a team. The team got results.
4) Content
Ok, ok… content is king and this event was no exception.
The Vegas event’s content could be summed up as such: You are where you are now
(A). Work out what you want to do / be / have in your life
(B). When you get to B, then you’ll be happy and fulfilled
For some reason, this just didn’t seem like “spiritual growth” for me. It felt like material growth dressed up in spiritual costume.
As somebody who is getting ever-closer to my “chosen life”, I knew first hand that this theory was bullshit.
When our external circumstances change, we may often feel better in the short term, but the effects do tend to be short lived. True well-being is innate and NOT reliant on our level of success, no matter how much we tend to kid ourselves that WE will be the exception to the rule. “Money doesn’t bring happiness, of course not…. BUT it would bring ME happiness, sure…”
Yeah yeah, of course it will :)
Jamie’s seminar, however, worked on the premise that: “Well-being and happiness are within you. They are not dependent on circumstances and achievements. Paradoxically, when you’re happy on the inside, it becomes a whole lot easier to get the outside stuff you thought you needed in the first place”.
This is a much nicer way of looking at the world, in my opinion.
Rather than trying to do or be things, you simply focus on your own well-being. And when you have the “shift” – that is, knowing that nothing outside of you can impact on your level of happiness, well-being, or self-esteem, well… life becomes a bloody blast.
The idea that we are whole and complete now, and we can treat life as a game to get stuff that we want (but it doesn’t matter if we don’t get what we want, because we’re already happy inside) – well, wow – that’s powerful, transformative stuff (if a little tricky to get your head around at first!)
The King is Dead. Long Live the King!
So, a mere two months after slamming Self Help Seminars, I’ve come full circle and now can’t wait to go on another one (six).
Jamie Smart managed to integrate the four pillars necessary (new info, inspiration, cool people, focus on change) with some new and valuable ways of teaching (focus purely on the audience; use of varied teaching methods; relentless change, change, change; and teach content that isn’t a load of generic bollocks :)
The result? 24 high-on-life English men and women, feeling amazing, confident – and above all – happy on the inside, no matter how “successful” they are externally.
I’ve spoken to several of the participants 10 days on, and all are still similarly affected by what went on last weekend.
For the reasons outlined above (and maybe some I’ve missed), this was a seminar that truly over-delivered.
This is the resurrection of the self help seminar.
Over To You
So… What do you think? Those of you who joined me in rubbishing self help seminars last time around – would you pay to go on a course like this?
Those who enjoyed Vegas – do you think you would have found this seminar even more valuable? Or do you still love the way the Vegas seminar was operated?
And those of you who have been put off from attending seminars in the past… Would you consider going now if it met these criteria?
Finally, why do you think I enjoyed this seminar so much? Do you think it’s all (or partly) down to the teacher? Or have I missed something else? What is it that truly makes a self help seminar?
You can read Carl’s is blog at Personal Development Planet, if you are up for some more of the same.
This is very good post for doing help to our self because self helping increases our confidence level to do something extra ordinary.
@ Michael – Cheers for the interesting points. I’m sure your seminars will be spot on, if you put as much thought into them as it looks like you do. Feel free to invite me along and I can write a review for you! :) In short, it’s inexcusable if trainers don’t go WELL out of their way to teach people stuff in a new way – and it looks like you recognise this and don’t take the piss. I agree that Tim’s coaching is way more involved than reading HTBRAH.
@ Ben – Couldn’t (and didn’t!) say it better myself. Nice, gentle, hand-holding is about right. It’s like the “secret” in Think and Grow Rich – it’s only when you’ve read it a thousand times that it “jumps out” at you – and seems so obvious you’re not quite sure how you ever missed it. Good stuff sir, hope you’re still living the enlightened dream :)
Hi Carl,
An interesting article :-) Of course thinking too hard about it all and getting all intellectual makes it harder to understand and grasp that “feeling” that Sydney Banks was on about and yet how else do you try and make those that did not experience the seminar understand how it differs from the norm?
For those that did not attend the course, I like to describe it as such:
With wealth, possesions, friendships, relationships etc we are all searching for a feeling and the true genii of this world realise those feelings come from within and so to feel a great sense of wellbeing, you don’t need these things.
Now, that is nothing new; but where the course differs is it helps you actually “get there” rather than understanding it on an intellectual basis. I likened it to looking at something in the dark; if you look directly at it you can’t see it but relax and trust your peripheral vision then you can see everything you need to. Try too hard to look at it and analyse it and you don’t “see it”.
The harder you try, the harder it gets. When you “get it”, then suddenly it all goes quiet inside and you stop trying to analyse it and it really becomes a feeling and that feeling is so lovely :-)
The funny thing about this whole course is that Jamie tells you almost straight away what the “secret” is, but you don’t get it. Then he explains it some more and you still don’t get it, and then some more etc because during this time you may find yourself intellectually challenging things, analysing stuff etc and when you finally relax and you’re luckily enough to get the “feeling”, that’s when it happens. That’s when you “get it”.
What you need is the time and spiritual “hand holding” that takes you over the threshold of true enlightenment and Jamie has all the time in the world to help you get there and that’s why me telling you in this post the “secret” means you may not “get it”; you need to spend the time with Jamie to take you where you need to be.
As you were ;-)
Ben
Tim,
Tim,
Been slaying dragons!
Joined a Crossfit, been working out like never before. Trying to reach a new level by age 40 (next month).
I wrote a few trial seminars, fired a few off to see how they’d go, and am working on doing some breakout seminars for groups attending conferences.
I have referred a few people to you recently, hope they get the gumption to give you a jingle.
Hope all is well!
PS, I talked about your book in Toastmasters last week. Hopefully some of them bought it or at least started following your blog. Ran down the values conflicts in a talk called “windshear; when values collide”. Went over great! Thanks for the info!
Mike
@ Mike – WTF have you been man? I was only just thinking about you yesterday! In a manly way of course.
Carl,
Spot on! I never liked most of the seminars, or training events that I have attended for a number of reasons. The one recurring theme was that every one of these things required me to change my human-ness to conform to some system, some philosophy, someone else’s way of doing things. No one seemed to hit on what I did naturally, then show me a way to work with that.
The quickest way to lose people is to ignore what they walk in with. If you don’t engage people, or get them to engage you or each other, you have no chance of bridging that gap.
I felt that for all the effort I made in time and money to attend training, the person presenting could have made some effort to do more than offer what I could learn from a book, or watching a video. Oh, and powernap (powerpoint), you’d better not whip out a text slide show or I’m walking out. Why go to a stadium to see Tony Robbins when you can get dvd’s or e-books/audio? Small group, sure.
If you buy Tim’s HTBRAH, then call Tim for coaching, do you get the same exact material that’s in the book? No, you get polishing, engaging coaching. You may cover some of the same ground, but it will be an active journey with some experiential feedback. Not quite the same as having someone up on stage pontificating their “Way”.
I like the bottom line principles you applied to the resurrection of the seminar, and will definitely use them as a pressure check of my own seminars. I learned some of the lessons as a personal safety coach in a February seminar series I gave. The funny thing, as a coach, was to see that when your ego isn’t the driving force in what you do, the servant’s heart takes over and makes the connection for learning to take root.
After all, the purpose of the training is to help people, and there should be no ego in that. Otherwise, you are only helping yourself!
Great conversation gentlemen.
Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by benjamenus: RT @TimBrownson Resurrection of the Self Help Seminar | Life Coach Blog: The Discomfort Zone : http://bit.ly/cJP4ix…
@ tony
no, that’s not what I’m saying mate. I’m a big proponent of Joseph Cambell’s “follow your bliss”. We’ve all got things we’re drawn to, and it would be crazy not to follow our dreams and gut instincts.
I’d suggest, however, that if Tim “had to” go back to sales now, I.e to quench his wife’s thirst for luxury cruises, he would be able to do so from a place of well-being and security.
As such, I reckon the whole process would be a lot less stressful – maybe even more interesting / enjoyable than before.
In short, Tim’s self awareness and strong sense of internal well-being would mean (I guess!) that a return to sales wouldn’t be the end of the universe as we know it.
Similarly, if I “had to” go back to sales, I’d do so knowing that my sense of happiness didn’t come from what I did for a living – it was hiding in me all along.
Admittedly, it becomes easier to see these truths when you are able to step away from situations whereby you’ve already created a lot of badwill through thinking about how shit everything is…
@Tim: I agree with you – I think that is definitely a myth in my experience :)
@Carl: So what you are saying is Tim really should have stayed in sales on 100K a year and “adjusted his thoughts”. [Don’t tell his wife that, she had to give up luxury cruises!] ;)
@ Jack – The best (and latest!) way I’ve found to manage my internal state is… doing less! Taking breaks, doing things that are good for my soul (i.e. swimming, walking in nature, drinking overpriced coffee) and disconnecting from the ever-increasing sense of urgency about life. I find that so many of us are in such an unconscious rush, that when we take time to just chill out and do stuff that makes us feel nice inside, our internal well-being tends to emerge.
And if that doesn’t work, there are some awesome NLP tricks that do wonders. If you’re interested, send me your email address (you can “contact me” on my site) and I’ll send you a new NLP ebook I’ve put together, which should help!
@ Tony – Cheers for another well-thought out, intelligent reply.
In short, this “well being is inside you” idea is relatively new to me. I read the “Power of Now” 18 months ago, was “transformed”, and naturally went promptly back to the way I was before. :)
This workshop really helped me to *experience* the shift to KNOWING that all the good stuff is within you all the time – in essence, we create our emotions (good and bad) by our thoughts.
In your case (and also in mine), when you left your job, I predict that your THINKING changed. You started to think good thoughts about yourself. (Conversely, when you was at work, you probably THOUGHT lots of bad stuff about your situation)
The point is – when you learn how to feel well within yourself, and realise that “thoughts are just thoughts” – and don’t take them so seriously, you realise (profoundly!) that you COULD have felt like this in your previous job.
It’s not the circumstances that change you, it’s how you think about them.
Well-being isn’t transmitted through osmosis when you start doing a new job(!), or move away from your parents – it comes when you ease up on thinking all the crazy, debilitating thoughts that us humans are prone to!
Have a think and see if this is true in your experience. And, the next time a negative thought pops us, try laughing at it in an “oh, another crazy thought popped up” kind of way – as opposed to consciously trying to “argue” with it and “prove” that it is wrong.
Having worked with Tim, I’d say that his message is predominately along these lines. That’s not to say that goal setting, motivation, NLP etc are outdated or un-needed – far from it – but if your base is well-being, the acquisition of stuff (or getting your dream job, for example) is fun, fun, fun – and not a continual battle “to succeed”. Tim is big on the “feel good inside” vibe – read How To Be Rich and Happy for proof of that.
Re: Salad – he is moving away from NLP and “do what you love”, after experiencing this shift in thinking himself relatively recently. He is doing at least 6 new seminars which focus on this new message, so I think if you check back in a couple of months you’ll see that reflected.
Finally, hey – each to their own re: parents. I moved away at 16 for a couple of years too… HOWEVER… SP telling a guy to disown his parents when there are several less severe options that could be considered is just a bit over the top / irresponsible, IMO. It’s a very one sided, spur of the monent comment that could have long-lasting ramifications.
Cheers for making me think dude. I’m off for Easter beers – but please do reply and I’ll get back to you tomorrow.
Boom!
@ Tony – I’m definitely going to follow up my myth post with 7 more myths of self development and one of them would be:
“Happiness comes from the inside, therefore you should be happy doing anything”
I strongly believe that happiness is ALWAYS internal and I do mean ALWAYS. However, tapping into it can be heavily influenced by external factors and how we interpret them.
Even The Dalia Lama was bummed when he was thrown out of Tibet, although he seems to have bounced back ok ;-)
Being happy when we are doing something we hate uses up MASSIVE mental resources and it really cannot be done for any length of time. Tapping into happiness when we do something we love in an environment we love is a whole different ball game.
And our tagline for HTBRAH is Whatever You Want – Whenever You Want. It’s something to aim for and something we want to provoke debate. However, I’d be lying if I said I thought it were possible, unless you use the criteria, “I do WANT to go to the hospital because my leg has just fallen off” etc.
Mainly at Carl I guess:
I’m not sure I’m convinced. :) You say that it’s about being happy inside first, and all will be well regardless of external factors, so why did you leave your job? Couldn’t you have stayed in your old job and made yourself happy? Also, looking at Salad’s site, the tag line is “Do what you love” – that seems to be in direct contradiction to the main message of the seminar which appears to have been “Love what you do – since it’s all in your mind”. It doesn’t quite gel to me. I also say that based on my own experience, it’s hard to make yourself happy when you are in a job you hate – I know I’ve been there. Leaving that job behind and pursuing more appealing work had a very dramatic positive effect on all aspects of my life, such that I would not hesitate a moment in moving on, if in the future I felt the same about my current job. In that respect I have to agree with SP in that if you don’t like your current lot (A) you have to move on towards something else, sometimes *anything* else (B). Isn’t that also what Tim and other life coaches do? Granted a lot can be done with things like positive imaging, interrupts, swishes, managing state and so on, but that doesn’t bring real lasting change does it?
Actually, as a side debate, on the issue of the guy and his mother, again I think SP is right. It is important to disengage from negative attitudes from anyone – even your parents. I’m not quite sure that goes as far as disowning them, but I know what SP means. I left home at 19 and went to university. I went straight from there to working abroad. It broke some kind of connection with my parents. I have many beliefs that are very different from my parents. My younger brothers did not leave home early or go to university, and they both hold attitudes that are much closer to my parents old fashioned attitudes, and are still ‘scared’ to think differently to my parents – at their personal cost I believe. The connection was never broken. Of course we all three love our parents, and in some ways I am closer to my parents than my younger brothers (go figure).
Anyway, I wasn’t there so I may have had a different view if I actually attended. But that’s my 2 cents based on what you said above. :)
(Please excuse the double comment – I hadn’t seen Carl’s response)
@Carl
Thanks very much for your feedback.
I think that question of internal state and well-being is such an important factor. It sounds like we’re very much on the same page about that.
When I feel jangled and like something is “missing” in my life, I try to dial back to what my “ultimate” goal is. It’s usually “inner peace” or “happiness” or something similar. One of my big areas of interest is the question of how to create such positive internal states regardless of the external reality of your life situation. (e.g. I don’t want a Ferrari, I want the feeling that I think I’ll get from a Ferrari, and if I can create that feeling, then I don’t “need” a Ferrari at all… although it might be fun to play with for a little while :) )
In your opinion, what would you say are the best ways to “engineer” your internal state? I’m always looking for new tools in this area.
I think your suggestion of a few additional facilitator / trainers, as well as more time allocated to work on the one-on-one / small group exercises would definitely have improved the seminar. The one on ones and writing exercises felt rather hurried at times.
Cheers to you too!
@Tim
I do have a copy of his book and while I’ve read through it and explored the framework presented, I haven’t exactly been using it as a model to guide everything in my life.
I definitely agree that the poly relationships, DS relationships, and fashion topics have been a distracting sideshow to the main thread of personal growth, motivational, goal-setting, and spirituality writing that created his (to my mind, well-deserved) reputation in the first place. The connection of these topics to personal development has been strained and tenuous.
I’m certainly willing to believe that I was one of those fortunate people for whom the content, structure, and timing of the workshop happened to be right on target. A year earlier, a year later, and who knows – it might not have “clicked” nearly as well for me?
In any case, if I could summarize why the impact of the workshop on me was significant, it would certainly come down to a very, very small number of factors.
Far and away the most important and long-lasting has been the connecting and networking aspect – meeting a group of people who are deeply interested in their own personal development, and in sharing their growth and helping others. This has been a great accelerator to my own growth and change. The mutual support from this social group has been a very valuable, ongoing part of many of our lives after the “seminar high” faded away and we all went back to our homes.
At least for me, connecting to this supportive peer group has been well worth the investment of resources that I made – and I admit that it’s quite independent of the textbook learnings associated with the workshop itself. So perhaps my own anecdotal experience ends up supporting Carl’s point in the end? :)
In any case, my own experience (as well as reading about the experience of others) has whetted my interest in checking out other seminars and workshops. I’d certainly like to see a greater variety of presentation and teaching styles. As far as I’m concerned, the more input and the more ideas, the better…
Jack
Cheers for such a detailed response.
I agree with your conclusion – the teachers’ respective styles, size of the group and content all played a massive part in my enjoyment / satisfaction with the seminars.
Perhaps the major differentiator between the two events was that I couldn’t shake the feeling that the message of the Vegas event (i.e get from Planet A to Planet B, and then life is rosy) was incongruent with my own experiences. As mentioned above, I truly believe that you’ve got to have well-being FIRST, before you even worry about Planet B. Otherwise you’re forever chasing a dream, getting progressively stressed and burnt out.
You do raise some interesting points though – perhaps really the “success” of any given self help seminar is totally subjective??
One thing I’d ask – do you not think if our Vegas guru had hired 3 additional trainers to work with smaller groups, there would have been more action, and less frenzied scribbling on paper, and thus been more beneficial for the people who don’t learn best from purely “writing exercises?”
Cheers again dude.
@ Jack – I though Pavlina’s book whilst having some good stuff in it, was incredibly flawed and dare I say it, naive. Yep it appears I dare say it.
It was obviously written by a guy that hadn’t much, if any experience of working one on one with people because it was a formula that didn’t adapt to the individual. The individual had to adapt to it.
He has a lot of people that really believe in what he has to say, even when quite frankly he’s talking out of his arse sometimes. The way his acolytes have sucked up the whole BDSM, polyamory and fashion thing is a lesson is social proof and group think.
The reason they believe it, is because in the past he has delivered some outstanding material and he’s never been afraid to put his cock on the block. He built up a loyal tribe that wanted to believe his every word.
I could write a whole post on stuff like confirmation bias, investment in ideas and social proof to explain why some people would always benefit from something like that if the numbers were high enough.
Also there will by the law of averages, have been some people that were wired up with similar beliefs and values to the host and therefore it genuinely would work for them.
I’m guessing you fell in to that last group.
The real skill in delivering a seminar like that is appealing to most people and cutting across learning styles.
I know Carl went really pumped up and looking forward to it and that makes his opinions more valuable imho. But then again my manlove for SP had disappeared months before that, so maybe I have my own confIrmation bias.
I look back at my own experience at the “Vegas” seminar that you described in your earlier post and still feel like we must have attended different events.
I continue to believe that the four criteria that you describe were satisfied, at least in my own personal experience of the event. (that is: 1. New Information, 2. Inspiration, 3. A support network, 4. Change) Everyone brings different life experience to a group workshop, and will realize different value from such an event.
For point 1, I did learn some new, specific information – and also some methodologies for structuring and applying pre-existing knowledge to my life situation. Points 2 and 3 flowed together to a great extent for me – I found the environment highly inspiring in large part due to the enthusiasm and energy of the other participants, and as a result I found myself bonding and sharing with other people and creating a mutual support network that is going strong several months later and shows no sign of abating.
Finally, point 4 definitely applied. Following the seminar, I renewed a commitment to writing in my blog and made some other significant transformations in my life situation. (Also, in my rather late comment on the previous post, I described a number of changes that other participants made that were far more significant than my own.)
Regarding the NLP training session that you described in this post, it sounds like a much more intimate workshop (4x smaller) with more opportunity for one on one contact between the facilitator and participants. I think I’d enjoy such a seminar as well – I’m fascinated by the principles of NLP and I imagine that I would love to explore the concepts and practices that you described learning.
It’s hard to say what the key differences were that made your two seminar experiences so different, but if I had to guess, I’d say it was some combination of teacher’s style, size of the group, and content.